No Homo Tho <3 || [Bronnie]

35

*Ronnie has sent screenshots of his previous conversation with Brandon to all members of The Killers in a group chat*

DK: what the fuck did I just read

DK: there's context and I STILL don't understand

DK: introducing our next venue: Hell.

RV: haha

DK: DONT HAHA ME U SICK FREAK

RV: cmon curly it's funny!

DK: it's all funny until I'M the one who catches Brandon sucking you off in the back of the tour bus!!

RV: you know that would never happen, he's a good boy

DK: I want to set my phone on fire

BF: what Ronnie said, I'm a good boy :)

DK: oh no, I'm not going to be part your kinky shit

RV: he's as vanilla as it could get, Dave :)

RV: such a good boy

DK: I just threw up in my mouth

DK: I can't believe I'm part of the worst coming out in the universe

RV: LMAO

RV: we're both married dumbass XD

DK: uh huh

DK: do your wives know that you're both gay for each other?

RV: we're not

BF: yeah, they discuss it over tea and debate which one of us tops or bottoms

DK: there goes our brandon

DK: off using gay terminology

BF: I googled it, Dave.

DK: you bottom.

BF: I do NOT

DK: of course you do, if Ronnie's 'daddy' then YOU bottom

RV: I think you're both forgetting we've never had sex

RV: we've done nothing relatively CLOSE to sex

RV: and we don't want to??

BF: don't knock it 'till you try it, Ron.

RV: Brandon Richard Flowers think of your children

BF: once again, I was just kidding lol

BF: and weren't you the one who sent me a dick pic and asked me if i'd sit on it???

RV: WE DO NOT DISCUSS THAT

BF: oops?

DK: holy shit ronnie you sent brandon a dic pic????

RV: HE'S SENT ME ONE TOO

BF: ON ACCIDENT

DK: . . .

DK: I actually can't comprehend you, Brandon Flowers, taking a picture of your penis and sending it to someone

DK: anyone

RV: you know what

RV: I actually didn't ask you who you were originally sending that pic to

BF: DON'T SPIN THE SUBJECT

DK: tell us

BF: piss off

DK: c'mon you can tell us

DK: after all we're ur best bros

BF: who do you THINK I would send a dick pic to??

RV: we know, we just want you to admit it yourself :)

BF: you guys are such assholes

RV: ain't no shame in feelin confident about your dick

DK: yeah, even if that particular person has already used all five of their senses on it

BF: don't

RV: yeah dave, i don't think she's heard his dick

DK: who fucking knows what these people are up to??

DK: they're so calm, you know they're up to some kinky shit

RV: he still hasn't said who this person is

RV: Brandon

RV: Brandon

RV: brandon

BF: OKAY

BF: i was sending that picture to my wife, okay? Happy?

DK: aww

DK: that's kind of romantic in a fucked up way

DK: even after a decade of marriage, he still sends her unwanted pics of his genitals :')

BF: how do you know it was unwanted????

DK: brandon

DK: even if she wants to stay with your ass forever

DK: c'mon, be real

DK: anyway

DK: h OLY sh it, Ronald, YOU SENT BRANDON A DICK PIC???

RV: I knew that if I sent it to my wife, I'd a receive a bias opinion, so I sent it to Brandon

DK: this is exactly why I wanted us to have each other's phone #s SOLELY so we can exchange ideas

DK: NOT DICK PICS

RV: oh sorry Dave, did you want one too???

DK: I would like to resign from the band

DK: Mark, it's been a pleasure working with you. Brandon, I don't care what you say, you bottom.

DK: Ronnie, you're a sick fuck

RV: oh sorry, maybe you wanted Brandon's???

DK: I will now proceed to light all my guitars on fire

DK: as well as myself

BF: it's okay Dave, it's not your fault Ronnie just gives me the urge to call him daddy ;)

RV: and it's not my fault I'm such a daddy

DK: there's not enough bleach in this world for me to put in my eyes to cleanse them after reading that

BF: u can be my daddy too

DK: I just threw up in my mouth again

BF: :)

DK: nope

DK: DON'T YOUR FUCKING KIDS CALL YOU DADDY??? HOW DO YOU GET OFF ON THIS???HAVE YOU NO SHAME????

RV: cum on Dave

RV: . . .

RV: we're just messing with you

BF: yeah lol, calm down

DK: don't text me

DK: don't call me

DK: I don't want to hear from either you until our next show

RV: suit yourself

BF: bye bye davie :)

MS: . . .

MS: lmao wtf