Bloody Texas

HA...You Thought it was Over.

The video clicks on.

An older man with tawny skin pulls his arm back and settles into his desk chair, moving his curly caramel hair from his face. His worn eyes are filled with trouble and sorrow. Behind him sits a perfectly made bed and preserved room. Pictures of Lance have collected on the walls. Sunlight filters through the sheer pink curtains, highlighting the dusty air.

After clearing his throat, the man finally speaks. "Hello Lance. It's Andy." A smile flashes across his cheeks, but quickly fades. "I...needed to make this video. I hope you're listening."

Andy takes a deep breath and begins.

"I was thirteen when I told you that I hated you. That was...the last thing I said to you." He gulps, "I was too angry that you were happy with Keith."

Andy stares straight into the camera, "Lance, I was thirteen when you told me to grow up. To open my eyes. It took nine years, but I finally have." He starts to choke up, "And I'm so sorry."

Andy takes a moment to hold his hand over his mouth, keeping his tears at bay. When he finishes, he lowers it back down. "I was fourteen when Papi told me you died. He came into my room in the evening and sat down on my bed. He took my hand and looked into my eyes as he told me that the day we knew was going to happen finally did. 'Lance died today,' were the words he used."

He looks to the side and bites his lip, "I was in shock for a long time; but after Papi left and I came to, I just cried and screamed. I cursed the gods you believed in, and the nurse that messed up and gave you the disease...and...Keith. Man," Andy looks up and lets out a solemn chuckle, "I blamed Keith for the longest time. I was angry that he didn't save you, that he didn't get you to the hospital in time, that he didn't love you enough, and any other excuse I could think of.

"Months after your funeral, I talked to Keith for the first time."

Andy sighed, "I never liked you."

Keith chuckled, "I figured."

"But," Andy gulped back his emotions, "Did you," he met Keith's stare, "Did you make my brother happy?"

A smile morphed Keith's cheeks, "To be honest with you Andy, we made each other happy. But I think he made me the happiest man in the world."

Andy sighed and lowered his gaze. He stared out at the yard, "Then I don't hate you."

Keith glanced at him, then returned to staring at the chairs. "Thank you, Andy."

Andy runs an exhausted hand through his hair, "I told him that I didn't hate him, hoping that maybe it would fix what I said to you. It's strange to think that it was the first time we had talked." Andy laughs at himself, "I told you that he was a bad guy, but Keith was nice to me. Thinking back on it now, all he ever did was talk about how much he loved you. He never stopped wearing your ring, either.

"Actually, at the end of that conversation, I told him to go to college." Andy laughs harder, "Guess where he is now?" He leans into the camera, "College!"

Andy sits back in his chair and crosses his arms as a smile creeps across his cheeks. "To be honest, I was just being bitchy; but he actually went back. Oh! And guess what he's gonna do? Research HIV and AIDS." His eyes drift off as a look of reminiscence flashes across them. "You...you picked a good guy, Lance. I wish I could've told you that when you were alive.

"I've made a lot of mistakes, and..." Andy's eyes return to stare into the camera again, "and so did Mark."

He brings his hands up in defense and shifts his position, "I know you may not want to hear this, but it needs to be said. After you were gone, I confronted Mark about what he did to you." Andy looks down, "He cried, Lance. He just cried and cried. When he calmed down enough to speak, he told me everything. He told me about how he used to let his friends beat you up; how he would slap you if you made him mad; how he would lock you in closets so you didn't get to play sports with us. He told me everything.

"There was one," Andy reaches off-screen beside the camera, "story in particular that stuck with me." He brings his arm back and opens his palm to reveal a cherry blossom brooch placed gently in the center. "The story about this." Andy looks down and inspects it, "Mark told me that after he threw it, you ran off. That's when he retrieved it and took off after you. He said that he found you pulling yourself up onto the edge of the top floor of a parking garage."

Andy's voice trembles, "He said that he dragged you off there, and you kicked and screamed at him to let you die." He gulps and motions to the brooch, "I actually had to steal this from him for this video. Mark keeps it in a nice box for when he wears his suit, then he wears it himself."

Andy returns the cherry blossom brooch back to where he got it and stares at the floor. "I...remember hearing you cry sometimes. I think we all did. When I gathered the courage, I would look for you; and found you hugging laundry in front of the dryer. I...I wanted to go in and help, but I didn't know how. So I left you alone." A tear falls from his reddened eyes. "I'm so sorry I made you feel alone."

A voice calls to Andy from somewhere downstairs in the house. He wipes his eyes and continues with a forced smile. "Did you hear that, Lance? That's your boy. Your Keith. We're actually friends now—Keith, Mark, and me. James...took off after he graduated. He despised being around your leftover presence. I guess I don't blame him—believe it or not, you are always with us in spirit. There isn't a day that your name doesn't come up or we don't talk about our memories of you. Keith and Mark grew close after your death, and they welcomed me when I came around.

"Lance, things are okay now. I'm still healing—everyone is—but I have come to terms with your death, and I'm moving on."

Keith calls to him again, "Andy! You coming?!"

Mark yells after him in his cheery voice, "Yeah, bro! Come on!"

"Just a minute!" Andy turns back to the camera and takes a few deep breaths, letting his eyes fall closed and his mind calm. After a few seconds, he opens them.

"Lance, I just want you to know..." another tear falls and collects with more on his jaw.

"That I love you."

Andy wipes his eyes and jumps up to turn the camera off as he calls down to Mark and Keith, "I'm coming no—"

Video End.