Shorts, Poems, and Imagines

Poem #85: "What once was mine"

I'm still young, and have regrets
Some I don't even realize yet
Some I already know
My biggest is forgetting
Forgetting the era of my ignorance and innocence

My childhood slipped through my fingers fast
It fell down deep and broke like glass
Millions of shards shattered
Making me remember only fragments

I yearn for my innocence back
This knowledge I know of now
It's like walking on a floor of knives
I always wonder what she was like...
That little girl of my past...

I wonder if that child was happier than I
I wonder if that child was more ignorant and carefree
No worries no woes no wounds
I yearn for memories where everything was peaceful

I yearn for that time of my life
Where I knew nothing but quiet
I yearn for peace in my life
Where I am ignorant and innocent
It was a mistake to forget my past

That child... My mother... my sister...
I've forgotten when I felt happy
Forgotten when my mother only gave love and only love
Forgotten what my sister sounded, looked, or was like.

I thought... if I forget my past
Forget my sister...
That feeling of grief will fade away
But only know do I realize, that I am mourning...
Mourning for what once was mine.

What was in my mind that I thought was clear...
No longer is there.
The person I knew who I was with even before birth...
Truly dead.
It is only now that I mourn.

I mourn my innocence
I mourn my youth
I mourn my ignorance
I mourn the memories I shared with a person so dear.
I mourn her... for now do I realize that she really is dead
In my mind and in my soul.

Now I really am alone.