Shorts, Poems, and Imagines

Poem #100: "A paragraph of a goodbye." [The End]

Before we go on I'd like to acknowledge
The little girl who faced a big challenge
The challenge of life and deep depression
And made it through all devastation
This girl is the bravest of them all
Because this girl had multiple falls
But still rose up and bounced back
And quickly went back on track.

So this book was mainly a diary for me... For anyone who cared to read or whatever, this was a 12-17 year old talking. She was a very troubled girl who only wanted to feel loved and accepted. She was shy and really undermined herself and was never really kind to herself. She didn't have that much confidence and she often used art and writing as an escape. I'd also like to mention that this girl was very very suicidal and didn't get the help she needed until, you know, she attempted. This girl went through so much shit. Her dad was abusive and their parents fought a lot. She never had a father figure, her brother was manipulative, she can't really share anything to her younger brother or her eldest brother, and to top it all off, she lost her twin sister at a very young age of 10. She often pushed anyone away who tried to help her even she was the one crying out for help. But you know, she was sad and she was grieving. She still had trouble letting go and often let the feelings of depression and suicidal though overwhelm her even though they were harmful. Even though she had so many people who cared for her, she still felt very alone. Now this girl... That's me. She used to be me like 6 years ago or something. I was going through a hard time and this was my escape from it all. Now this is the last time I'm gonna be posting from this book, diary,  or whatever you call it. Because I'm at a much better place now. Unlike before, I know my worth and I want to live. However I do want to say something to Sophia from 6 years ago.

Hey, I know it's tough right now. You're going through a lot and trust me, it's gonna be really hard to deal with. But you know what? You're not alone. You really aren't if you look around you, there are still people who care about you and will make ends meet to help you. You won't meet them just yet, but you'll meet them eventually. You'll experience so much more and a lot of them will be very positive. You will be happy. I know I'm only 18 and haven't had that much experience, but 6 years is still 6 years of life experience. You're probably wondering how the family is doing huh? Well, first things first, you helped raise the most charming and sweet little brother in the world. He's the smartest kid you know and honestly, you'll be excited for the man he's gonna become. He just turned 11 years old this year too. (It's 2020 by the way. The year ain't great but it's not as worse as what you went through). America isn't that bad, mom and dad made up and are no longer fighting anymore. However you guys are facing financial hardships, but it'll be okay in the end. You'll snap out of your manipulative brother's clutches and get a hold of yourself. You'll get a girlfriend, in fact you get 2 (at different times of course. You ain't a player). You haven't seen your older brother in almost 3 years now, but you still like to tease him from 6000 miles away. You get to meet such amazing and diverse friends who have your back no matter what. Oh my god and you're AMAZING at art. Like holy shit a lot of people love it. You're going to have such a wonderful life. I'm so excited for you to experience it all.

Love, your 18-year old self.