Hamilton Oneshots (DISCONTINUED)

John to the Power of Four

//Ok, ngl, this story is REALLY strange. Most of the dialogue came from a conversation between me and my friend at like 2 AM. Jesus I really need to sleep instead of talking about how chaotic a relationship with more than one John would be. Well, anyways, enjoy this horribly written oneshot//

John Mercer grinned as he and his boyfriends, John Adams, John André, and John Laurens walked into a bowling alley for their weekly date. Now some might think it would be really strange and narcissistic to be a relationship with three other people who had the same name as you, but the Johns couldn't be happier.

Mercer and the other Johns quickly claimed place and began choosing their bowling balls. While Mercer and Adams fought over who could hold the heavier bowling ball, André was teaching the smol innocent Laurens how to properly hold a bowling ball. "Okay John, you have to hold the ball as if it were your own child-" André told Laurens, positioning his hands correctly.

After everything was sorted out, they were ready to bowl. Precious Laurens was up first and without realizing it, he held the bowling ball wrong. André stared at him for a second before yelling in anger.

"yOU DUMB LITTLE SHIT YOU'RE GETTING YOUR FILTHY FINGER PRINTS ON IT, CRADLE THAT DAMN THING RIGHT NOW-" Laurens looked at André sadly, looking close to tears. Mercer and Adams exchanged a brief glance before walking over to André and beating the shit out of him.

~Time Skip~

It was now later into the evening. André has been banned from playing and everything was good again. Except it wasn't. Not at all. The problem with having more than two Johns in a relationship is that it gets confusing trying to ask for things, especially when literally everyone just says John.

John watched as he got a strike and grinned before glancing up at the scoreboard to see whose turn it was next. John's. John turned around to face the other Johns. "Hey John, it's your turn." John stated. John looked up at him, somewhat annoyed.

"No John, I went right before you, it's..." John squinted at the scoreboard before nodding over to John. "John's turn."

"I'm not even playing, how could it be my turn?" John hissed angrily. John stared at John and just facepalmed.

"Not you, John." John groaned, just wanting to finish the game and maybe win.

"John went to get drinks," John stated in a bored manner as he took a seat next to John.

"Wait, who?" John asked, really confused.

"JOHN."

All of the Johns were glaring at each other as John came back with sodas. Sensing that they were in need of outside help, John waved over an employee to help sort out their problems.

Long story short: they got kicked out and were now walking back to their car.

"Dammit..." John grumbles as he punches a wall, scaring all of the other Johns. "This is the nineteenth bowling alley we've been banned from... and it was a five hour drive from our house as well..." John lamented, making all the Johns feel the need to comfort John.

Out of nowhere, interrupting the silence, John spoke. "This is all John's fault-" He accused, jabbing a finger at John, who looked about ready to fight John.

"No, it was John's fault!" He shouted, pointing at John. John rolled his eyes in response to the childish accusation.

"I wasn't even playing, how can this be my fault?!" John inquired.

John stared at John who was staring at John who was staring at John. They all nodded in unison, silently agreeing to just leave the argument be.

They all piled into the car, Mercer behind the wheel while his boyfriends cuddled in the backseat, asleep. Feeling jealous, Mercer crawled into the backseat to cuddle. The car crashed. No survivors were found.

//593 Words

For those of you who don't know who John Mercer is. He was in the revolutionary war, was probably gay with general Washington, and he was present at the constitutional convention.

The conversation that spawned this horror show ^^^^^^^