Reaching Out | The 100

Chapter Fourteen: I'm Always With You

Clarke's POV

I watched Bellamy walk away, and i wonder where he is going. I'm on edge now, I'm terrified that i will lose him again. I don't know if i could survive that.

Again.

I get up to bring my dishes to the bucket of water to be cleaned and when i turn back around to head back to the table and talk to everyone that I haven't seen in six years, i almost smack right into someone.

"Sorry!" I say, my vision is blurry from being so close to them so i take a step back to get out of his way and so i can see them. "Watch where you're going Princess." says a familiar voice, and impossibly familiar voice.

"Finn?" My voice cracks, it isn't possible, he's dead, he isn't here. I run my hands through my hair and look at him in disbelief. He starts to walk away and i stand frozen, unable to move, until he looks back at me and i follow him out the doors down a quiet hallway. I have to follow him, i have to know.

He steps into a room that has beautiful stained glass across the whole wall, and hanging in the front is a cross, and long benches stretch across the whole entire room. There are even beautiful paintings all over the ceiling, one big mural that takes my breath away. Wow.

"I had a feeling that you would like it in here," Finn says with a smile. My gaze falls from the paintings on the ceiling to the man in front of me. I never thought that i would see him again. But it's too good to be true, and i know that.

Still i run into his arms, and he hugs me tight and my whole body relaxes into his. "I missed you so much!" I tell him while my tears soak through his shirt, but he doesn't seem to mind.

I pull away after a few minutes, his hands grasping my forearms. "You aren't real are you? You're dead, it isn't possible that you're here." I say, the reality of it beginning to sink in, i knew it wasn't real but i let a little sliver of hope in through the wall i had built up around my heart.

Hope just leaves you disappointed, life taught me that. Some would say I'm a pessimist, but I'm not, I'm just a realist, and this is reality. Reality sucks.

He smiles sadly, brushing a strand of hair out of my eyes. "You're right, I'm not." I expected it, but still i crumple to the floor, tears running down my cheeks, and he lays his hand on my shoulder. I turn to look at him, somehow picking myself up and moving to sit on one of the long benches. I pull my legs up, wrapping my arms around them. Maybe if i hug myself tight enough, it won't hurt so much.

"If you're not real then how can i feel you?" I ask, suddenly struck by the conundrum, i turn to face him as he sits down next to me. "I'm not truly Finn, you're right, this is a hallucination. But it doesn't mean that I'm not, not real." He says, then laughs sensing my confusion.

"You may just be imagining this, but it's also real. Finn is real, and you are seeing the representation of the Finn you know and love. I am in all ways that matter, real." He says thoughtfully. Honestly my brain just feels like it's going to explode. Overwhelmed by everything that has happened in the last few days, i start to cry.

"I'm so sorry Finn, i had to kill you, otherwise they would torture you and I didn't want you to have to go through that, I didn't think i could watch it, and every day i think that maybe i could have done something different, that maybe you would still be here if i-" the words just pour out of me, along with the feelings that i had shoved deep down inside of me to deal with later. I'm a mess.

"Hey Clarke, you made the right choice. There was nothing else you could do, you did your best, okay?" He tilts my chin up until i look him in the eyes, then kisses my forehead. "Thank you Clarke, i was far from perfect but you- you saved me. Now please promise me one last thing." He says, eyes steady on mine.