Dear you,

his entry no.7

8 September' 2018

Dear you,
"Love is just a four lettered word for most of us but-" I haven't really thought about the rest. Basically, I'm in love...with somebody totally different from me. I remember when I was young, I studied magnets and how opposites attract. And I thought, how? You do need common grounds to start a conversation. But things proved differently last night, as I always say 'things never go by nature's rule'. Let me tell you what happened in a way I think nobody ever wrote a journal entry in

present: it's three in the morning and I have no energy and using the last bits to write. My eyes look like I took drugs. I feel sleepy but I know I won't be able to sleep. Ah my dad is parking in the driveway and grinning at me through the window. He is old but he sure knows his ways (you'll know why)

Past: yesterday, I went to the school library so if I could delay my return on the book "carve the mark". And I saw L there. That was the worst and best feeling I  ever had in my life. My stomach churned right when she asked for my number after our conversation escalated (nothing special).

She fist bumped me on my shoulder and it still burns. I don't even know how that's possible! I reached home and made my way to the garage with a wide smile on my face. My dad knew something was up, but I didn't tell him anything. It's weird enough having your father as your ONLY best friend. Trust me my dad knew what he was doing because as soon as I left my phone ,unattended, he grabs it and goes through my contacts and did what I suspected him of doing. He messages L saying
"Hey wanna chill out?"

My dad knew exactly what he had done. He winked at me while I discovered you can not unsend a text. WHO SAYS 'CHILL OUT'. Firstly, I got mad at him for messaging L and secondly for making me sound so dumb. After I had calmed down, both of us eagerly waited for a reply and hugged each other when L wrote:

"Sure I'll be there at eight"

I forced my dad to get out of the house because it was weird enough for him to set my 'date' (lets just go with that word to make my day) Anyways L arrived half an hour late, but I didn't really care if she was not on time. I took her to my room and we watched "bay watch" together. I noticed another tattoo on her arm. But it wasn't a tattoo, when she lifted her sleeve, unintentionally.

"Is that a... blade cut?", I asked worried.

"Its whatever"

"Its clearly not whatever. Wait here", I grabbed the first aid kit and started bandaging her arm. Why would somebody so beautiful cut themselves?

"Thank you", she whispered and her tear dropped on the bandage. I hugged her and she started sobbing even harder. It's like I could sense her pain.

She told me to cuddle her and I did as she said. She said when people are close to her, it makes her feel safe. Which means I make her feel safe. Nobody has ever said that to me. Turns out L has many problems to face. I don't think I should talk about them. But then again this journal is anonymous.

She said she felt alone. She had so called friends who secretly wished bad for her. Her boyfriend cheated on her and told her she was hard to handle because she cut herself. She had doctor s for parents who expected a lot from her. She was a drug addict and had broken out of rehab two times. And she had another reason which she thought I wasn't ready to listen to. And I respect that. For the first time I didn't doze off in the conversation we had.

I mean my dad and I don't have much but at the end of the day, we're happy. And that's what I wanted L to feel like. Every human deserves to be happy. I listened to every word she had to say while her head rested on my arm. She left at two in the morning telling me she had to get home before her parents did. She kissed me on the cheek and left with a thanks (my cheek is also burning).

Future: I honestly don't know