Dear you,

his entry no.16

7 November' 2018

dear you,

''love is a four lettered word. But you do not hear it often as the other four lettered words. Probably because we are ashamed to show our emotions as it is seen as a sign of weakness''

You can clearly tell that no matter how hard I try, my poetry will never rise.

My dad hit a jackpot and got offered a job in a town an hour away from us. I was the one who forced him to go because he said he didn't want to leave me in my 'crucial' stage.

''dad don't worry about me. I'll be fine'', I explained

''Now, don't lie to me and tell me the truth. You broke up with the girl who used to visit here right?'', he asked while sipping his tea in a way showing that he had experienced it all

''where did that even come up from? and we never dated just so you know''

''then explain the sleepless nights you had. The smile on your face when i mentioned her. You stammering when she asked questions'', my dad had noticed a lot.

I tried to hide it but I knew it was fine to let it out in front of my dad. A tear rolled down my cheek and the next thing I knew, I was sobbing in his arms. He consoled me while I told him everything that had happened.

''I have never loved anybody that much. I  think about her everywhere I go and can't stop even if I want to'', I complained

''there there. We have all been through that in our lives. You just have to learn to move on. The faster it is, the better''

''how long did it take for you to forget about mom?''

''who said i forgot about her?'' He took out his wallet and showed me a picture of a woman that I recognized as my mom

''I keep her safe with me. But it doesn't bother me that she left me. Not at all''. This was the first time i had seen my dad truly devastated. He had always cared about everyone else and never did anything for himself.

In the evening I dropped him off at the bus station and we delivered our goodbyes. The second thing I did was visited my Grandmother. Not to fix her computer this time, but to buy her a new one. I spent all afternoon with her, trying to teach her the ways of the new one. I had saved up all my money  just so she wouldn't have a complaint against it.

''how's the blanket I gave you dear?'' she asked

''in good hands''. I couldn't tell her that it was with my friend who coincidentally was a stripper.

When I was on my way home, i got a text from Selena stating that I had to get to her hostel as soon as possible. I parked my car in the parking lot, curious at why she had called me. To my surprise the hostel had turned into a mad house. There were people making out everywhere with drinks and surprisingly toilet paper hanging from the roof.

I made my way in and the music was blasting everywhere. I felt a hand on my shoulder, it was Selena.

'you made it!' she said while handing me a cup. Without second guessing myself, I drank the whole cup in one gulp

'What's life without a few risks?' I said proudly as this was the second rebellious act I had ever done. The first one was egging L's ex's car. How we laughed along the way and had a memorable night. But I couldn't think of her now. Not tonight.

Now I don't remember much of that night but all i do remember is that I did not wake up in my room, with only my underwear on and recognized the guitar in the corner.

''good morning sleepy head''. so did I recognize that voice.