|A L W A Y S & F O R E V E R| B O O K 1

14||M e m o r i e s

Date: 8/11/15
Day of the Week: Tuesday
Location: Atlanta, Georgia
Place: Hotel Room

Russell

"Hey."

"Hey." She smiled meekly as I took a seat next to her at the table on the balcony.

"How are you feeling?"

"Alright, I guess. I mean, I feel better now that it's out." She mumbled.

"Yeah...I'm sorry that you had to go through that." I reached out and rubbed her back gently. She let out a light sigh.

"There's something I want to ask you." I was silent for a minute. She raised her brow, waiting for me to ask the question.

" I know you probably don't want to talk about it, but is that why you and your cousin don't get along?" I was referring to Kennedy. She shifted around in her chair uncomfortably.

"Yeah." She hung her head low, looking down into her lap as she fiddled with her fingers. She was silent before continuing.

"We used to be so close when we were kids. We used to have fun sleepovers at each other's houses, go shopping together, and do all the other things that teenagers do. Overall, we were just tight."

"One day, I came to her house for a sleepover. We were sitting in her room watching movies when her mother came in. She asked if we wanted to go to the store with her, and I decided to stay back because I didn't feel like going out. So they left, and it was just me and her brother there at the house. He came in and sat on the bed...just talking about r-random stuff." Her voice started to crack.

"He's my big cousin, so I felt comfortable around him. As my big cousin, I thought he would be the person who would protect me from all the bad guys, and he turned out to be one of them. I didn't know it would happen." She burst into tears.

"Sometimes I feel like it's my fault because I should have gone with them, but I didn't. All of this could have been avoided."

"It's not your fault, Ci. What he did was sick. You didn't deserve to go through that. Don't beat yourself up over something you had no control over." I rubbed her back gently as she held her head in her hands, still sobbing.

" I told my grandmother what happened and after begging her, she promised not to tell my parents. She didn't agree with my decision to keep it from them, but I told her I would tell them in my own time." She shook her head as the tears flowed down her cheeks to the valley of her chest.

"After it happened, I became very distant and depressed. There were no more slumber parties at Kennedy's house. Hell, I couldn't even bring myself to speak to her again. Let alone be in her presence. Every time she tried to talk to me, I shut her out, and I continued to keep my distance. I know it wasn't her fault, but I felt guilty."

"I couldn't tell her what her brother did to me because if I did, she would be heartbroken. At the same time, I couldn't handle being around her. How could I look her in the face knowing someone that she loves so much, hurt me in the worst way?  I know I probably hurt her feelings by ignoring her for all of these years. I know she thinks I changed and I did, but it wasn't for the reasons she thinks it was."

"She hates me. And even though we fight, I still love her so much." She tucked her knees up towards her chest before resting her chin on them.

"Baby, I don't think she hates you. I believe she's hurt. She doesn't understand your reason for doing what you did."