|A L W A Y S & F O R E V E R| B O O K 1

31||A c c i d e n t s H a p p e n

                           Continued
Ciara's fingers massaged through Russ' hair as his head rested in her lap. She leaned down and placed a delicate kiss on his forehead.

"Are you alright, baby?" He ran his hands down his face and exhaled a breath. He shrugged his shoulders. Although he could trust Ciara, it was another topic that he didn't like talking about.

"You know you can talk to me, right?"

"I just, I don't like talking about it, Ci. It's embarrassing."

"Baby, I told you that you don't have anything to be ashamed of. Many men get abused all the time, and they never want to speak about it. You don't have to be that way with me. I've told you some things, and you've seen me at my lowest points. You don't have to be afraid to tell me anything."

"I just don't want you to look at me differently. I don't want you to think I'm weak."

"Weak? Baby, you know I don't care about none of that." Her arched brows scrunched together.

He stared up at the ceiling as he thought about his past with Aston. How she'd put her hands on him out of anger and her own infidelities.

"Baby...talk to me. I won't look at you any differently." She took her left hand and caressed the side of his cheek softly as the other held on to his hand. She squeezed it gently. He didn't seem like he would budge. So she insisted.

"Remember when I told you that my cousin raped me when I was sixteen? How I felt worthless and unworthy of being loved? How it changed me in the worst ways? The stillbirth I had when I was five months pregnant tore me to pieces, Russ. I wasn't ready for a baby, but she was mine, and I loved her even while she was in my tummy." A single hot tear slipped down her cheek onto her T-shirt. She caught the next one with the tip of her finger.

"We've both been through some stuff, Russ. You don't ever have to think twice about opening up to me. Now, please tell me, what happened between you two?"

Silence.

Ci let out a sigh while shaking her head from side to side. She knew it was hard for him to talk about getting abused, but it was hard for her to talk about her past, too. All she wanted was for him to open up to her. To let her fully in. She felt like It wasn't fair that she poured out her emotions to him, and he wouldn't do the same. He knew about her cousin before her parents did. Even after fourteen years. How were they supposed to have a healthy relationship if he couldn't speak on the troubles of his past?

"Babe..." He looked up into her eyes as she peered down at him.

"You do trust me...don't you?" She had thought that she'd earned his trust by now, but now she was having doubts.

"Of course I trust you."

"Then tell me...please. I let my guard down to you. You have to let yours down, too. I'm not in this relationship with myself."

"Ba-"

"No. I told you about my fucking cousin raping me when I was sixteen years old. I told you about losing my child due to distress. Why won't you let me in?" Ciara was getting upset now, and Russ could tell by the tone of her voice. It didn't come out sweet and soft like it usually did.  

"Move." She mumbled as she pushed his head off of her lap and got up from the bed.

"Baby wait!" He got up from his place in bed and stopped her just before she walked out the door. He held on to her wrist gently.