The Vampire's Prey

chapter 20

I wake up with a gasp and sit up immediately as I try to sort my thoughts. Countless contrasting emotions went through my head giving me headaches. For a moment the memories that I dreamt of felt realer than the memories that came after. For a moment I was the proud, cold, evil witch who hated the vampire named Aden. For a moment I thought I'd attach him with anger for what he did that night as he attempted to console me.
"Hey, hey, clam down. Deep breath, its okay," he chanted softly and finally my gaze landed onto his crimson eyes and for a while I was entranced and frozen then soon enough all the pieces came together and the two parts of me came to an agreement and settled down. Now I was a body that contained both the evil witch who grew alone and despised attachments as well as the scared and confused girl who fell for Aden. In ways both those parts of me liked him but the cold unsympathetic part of me went to a scary extreme to express it.
Suddenly I wanted to start crying, the guilt of all that I had done to him came together. I wanted to run as far away from him as possible for fear that I'll continue to harm him. I couldn't bear it, he was right to nearly kill me that night, I deserved it. No, I deserve worse, I can't be in peace with myself ever again.
"I'm a monster," the choked whisper escapes from my trembling lips as he tried to embrace me reassuringly but I suddenly push him away.
"Look, you need to calm yourself down and sort out everything. If you want I'll leave you alone for a while," he said and I nodded in agreement. "Just drink that water and...I'll be in the living room if you need me," he said and left.

Unfortunately, no matter how long I tried to ignore the pain of guilt, forgive myself and even tried to justify myself, I just couldn't find peace. I wanted to rip myself from my own body and kill that other part of me who treated Aden so wrongly. I wanted to make it up to him, I couldn't even think of asking for his forgiveness, even though I know he'd forgive me. But I don't deserve his forgiveness nor kindness and definitely not his love. I just wanted to...
Suddenly I had forced the doors open of my room and dashed right out. I raced away madly, almost tripping, sometimes bumping into things and corners perhaps purposefully to hurt myself rather than accidentally. I finally found myself forcing the doors of the balcony open and I ran straight for the edge, climbing over the railing, with a perfect plan in mind.
"Lea!" Aden yelled as he came running to me faster that I could have ever run. If I wanted I could have jumped right off before he could have stepped any closer but the way he called my name made me freeze and turn my tear filled face towards him. His expression made me give up completely. Was I going to hurt him again if I take one more step or is it for the best?
"Don't," I cry as he makes it to me and reaches out to grab my arm. By instinct he freezes to obey my order as he worriedly watches me cry. There's such panic in his eyes, so much fear, as if he was about to lose everything that ever held importance to him and it broke me...did he love me that much even though I did nothing to deserve it.
"Look I know you're mad at yourself but it wasn't your fault..."
"Whose then," I demand angrily.
"Its where you were born, how you were raised, how you grew up, the things you went through, it made you like that...it was never who you truly were. I saw the softness in you even then, I knew a part of you was just as warm as you were cold."
"How can you be so sure? You don't know me! You don't know what my life was like!"
"Lea I've known you longer that you've known yourself," he says making me stunned as I sat there on the railing, one of my legs hanging, gravity calling it to come down.
"What do you mean?"
"Just..." He hesitantly touches my hand then slowly comes closer, grabs me and pulls me down, "get down and I'll tell you." I end up obeying, falling limply into his arms and then sitting down on the ground due to weakness.
"How long have you known me," I asked softly with confusion.
"Your cottage was the closest place to this mansion that I always ended up crossing through it," he told as he sat next to me holding me like a child who he wanted to tell a story. "I got a hold of this place after I killed the one who turned me to a vampire. You were only an adolescent girl back then. I always noticed how you were always alone and I first began to pity you when I discovered you had no family or anyone. Rumors also said that your single mother was burnt by the villagers. I never came too close because I was afraid of hurting you since I was a new vampire with no self control."
"So you've been my stalker since then," I muttered with a little weak giggle as I began to nuzzle into him.
"Yeah but you only took notice of me when you were older and by then I tried to make a move but you were so hateful and indifferent...I guess...I got desperate... And I'm sorry...I guess if it wasn't for my rash actions none of it would have..."
I suddenly sat up saying, "what are you sorry for? You never did anything wrong not once! It was all me, all my sins, all my cruel actions, all my doings." I choked and frowned feeling angry at myself all over again. Then i glared at him and ordered, "punish me."
"What," he asked surprised, the chain on his neck slowly beginning to glow.
"I won't be in peace with myself till I get what I deserve."
"But...I don't understand, what exactly are toy asking me to do?"
"Do the same thing you did that night."
"No," he replied with fear but then hissed in pain as the chains began to glow hotter.
"Do it!"
Tears rolled out of his eyes as he tremblingly came closer with full hesitance. "Don't make me do this...please."
"Its okay," I whisper as I put my arms around him and pull him close. "Just think of all I've done wrong and get your revenge and we'll be even."
And eventually it happened, he chewed onto my flesh and drank my blood but it was in no way the same as that night. He didn't wish to hurt me but I didn't allow him to stop till I was nearly dead.
Finally he let me go and lying on the floor I said drunkenly, "don't cry Aden because from now on I'm yours...I'm all yours."