Sparrow of the Dawn

I'm Not Alone, But I'm Lonely

I'm not alone, but I'm lonely.

I've been thinking about that phrase a lot lately. I'm a 21 year old with next to no money, who can't drive, and has no clue how to talk to boys... well, men. I guess that I should get a pass considering I am a college student.

It's two months into summer and I've had no "summer fun." No flings, no parties, though I have attended a few concerts. I thought maybe I'd go on a short trip to an amusement park with my friends from back home, but ever since I left for school, our relationship hasn't been the same. As a quiet girl, it kind of sucks feeling like you have to make all new friends because your old ones don't want to put in much effort anymore. Having decent parents and a few work acquaintances is nice, but I guess not having a solid set of real friends is why I've been feeling so lonely.

***

Here we are, Home & Hardware; my job. I'm just a cashier but I feel that my job is important. I talk to customers and I think I have the power to make their day a little better.

"Hey! Go to register 2 until Christa comes in, then go back to the break room and do your training for the month."

"Alright Kris shut up," I mumble as I nod and grin to the manager.

I usually come into work irritated or angry but today feels different for some reason. No fake smiles or corny laughs today.

When Christa came into work she ran to me and asked, "hey when do you go on your lunch break? A new guy just started and I want to talk to him!" I just met Christa a few weeks ago but she already seems really comfortable around me. Maybe we are friends? Not sure yet.

"My lunch is in an hour. Let's meet him then!" I answer.

"Can't wait," Christa says, smiling as she turned to walk to her register.

A short while later, I have a customer who needs some help picking out a new drill, so I call the hardware department employee to meet the customer at my register. From aisle 12 comes this gorgeous man. He's a little taller than me, with long brown hair, and the most perfect features I think I've ever seen. His name tag says Jake, but I think he looks more like a Josh. I can't stop staring.