Sparrow of the Dawn

When the Curtain Falls

I arrive at Jake's house at around 10:30pm and he opens the door right as I'm walking up to the porch. "Hey beautiful," Jake says, moving to the side to let me enter the house.

"Hi," I say without looking at him. "What did you want to talk about?" I'm nervous because I know Jake's about to talk about 'us'. In a way, it's kind of cute because he seems to care about whatever this is between us.

"Lex, I want to know what's up with us. Or what you think should be up with us," Jake says as he looks down. "I know you seemed a little stressed out when we were talking about the Instagram post earlier... I just want to know why." What do I tell him? There's so much we don't know about each other yet.

"Jake, I don't know what's up with us. All I know is that I like hanging out with you, and I like how important you've made me feel since I met you," I say awkwardly. "My issue with the Instagram post and that hashtag is that I don't even know what I want with you yet... I don't know if I can date you." I can't tell if Jake is upset, hurt, or confused by what I've said.

"I thought I made it obvious how I felt, especially after I kissed you earlier," Jake stops and walks over to a chair in the living room, sits down, and sighs. "I like you, Lex. If you're not into me in that way—"

"No I am!" I interrupt. Jake moves his head to the side like a dog does when it's trying to hear better. "I'm really into you, there's just some things you don't know, and I don't know if I can trust you yet."

Jake stands up and slowly walks up to me. "If there's anything I need to know that will help my chances with you, I want to know. Now," he says to me quietly.

Where do I begin? I don't want to scare him away but if he does want me like he says he does, I guess he deserves the truth. I take a deep breath and say it, "I've been having weird feelings about whatever this is because of my ex. He was also a musician. He used me for the entertainment contacts I had from my college professors and then he cheated on me with the girl I thought was my best friend..." I stop and go to sit down on the couch. "I can't have anything like that happen again Jake," I say looking up at him.

He follows me to the couch and sits down next to me. "You don't have to worry about that with me. I have my own contacts with the label; and cheating isn't my style," he says. Jake always seems to know what to say to comfort me, and the way he looks at me makes me feel that much safer with him. I turn to him and kiss him hard on his lips. The kiss is meant to thank him for the quick reassurance and comfort, but also because he was more attractive in that moment than ever.

Jake caresses my face with his left hand and holds my own hand with his right. His lips on mine feel like heaven. As we kiss, my hands find their way to Jake's hair and I pull it gently. His hands start to wander as well; he reaches under my shirt to brush his hands across my lower back and then up to the clasp of my bra.

"Hey, we should stop," I say hesitating. "I don't think I'm ready for all this just yet."

"That's fine with me," Jake says smiling.

I decide to leave because I have to work the next day. I can't wait to see where this goes I think to myself as I pull into my driveway.