Sparrow of the Dawn

Eggs and Bacon

The rest of the day passes slowly. It starts raining outside shortly after Sam and Jake leave, so I decide to sit at the kitchen table by the window. Knowing that both Sam and Jake have feelings for me, whether good or bad, is actually making me feel pretty good. A month ago, if someone would've told me that two incredibly attractive guys would be interested in me, I'd have laughed in their face.

I haven't been scheduled to go into work in a few days, so I decide to catch up on some house work; cleaning, and picking out paint for my bathroom. I find myself going back and forth between two similar shades of eggshell white for a while before I put the paint samples down. It's impossible to focus knowing that I should be talking to Jake. I can only wonder what's going through his mind right now.

After hesitating for about an hour, I pick up the phone to call and apologize to him for not taking him seriously after the show last night, and to my surprise, he asks to meet up again. An hour and a half later, I'm on the bus on my way to the local coffee shop to meet him for a nice hot cup of caffeinated bean water. On the way there, I see an older couple sitting across from me holding hands. I wonder how long they've been together. I bet they never had this much confusion so early on in their relationship...

I get to the coffee shop at the same time as Jake. He changed his clothes since I saw him earlier and put his hair up. He looks much more relaxed. "I would've offered to drive you but I was at Guitar Center," he said with a smile.

"Spill beer on another pedal?" I asked jokingly. Jake just chuckles. We order our drinks and grab a seat near the back where no one else is sitting.

"Lex, I'm sorry about earlier. I don't really get that emotional often, but when I do, it's dramatic," he says.

"Yeah, I would expect that from Josh, but never from you," I said, trying to lighten the mood. I can tell Jake isn't in a joking mood so I get serious, "No Jake, I'm sorry, I was way too drunk last night to understand what was going on. Can we start the whole conversation over?"

Jake nods and takes a sip of his coffee. "Alright well, basically, Christa was getting handsy after the show and it made me realize that what I was doing was wrong." He looks down at his cup, waiting for a response.

What do I say? It took him that long to realize he messed up? I say to myself. Jake looks up to make sure I'm still paying attention. "I don't like that it took so long for you to realize that," I say. I can't think of anything else to say quick enough.

"Well, you never seemed that interested, and I've seen the way you and Sam have been acting, I guess I was right," he says, cocking his head to the side.

"No, I only started up with him because of what you said about not putting all your eggs in one basket," there's a defensive tone in my voice.

"But that's my brother, Lex! You have to admit that's a little messed up," Jake says, getting up from the table. The baristas are now looking our way; I guess our volume has increased since we sat down over here. Jake whispers, "why'd you pick him?"

"Why'd you pick my friend?"

"I didn't know you two were actually—look, I like you and I know you like me. What do we do? Sam or me?" He asks, sitting back down. I take a few sips of my coffee to give myself more time to think. What do I want? Should I try again with Jake or should I see what could happen with Sam?

I must be taking too long to answer because Jake gets up again. He looks upset again. Before he turns to leave, I stand up. "I, I want you, Jake."

"Alright, so I'll see you at our show tomorrow night. I'll send you a ticket," he smiles at me, turns around and walks out.

Damn, that's it? No ride home? Thanks, Jake.