All Night || d.t

Everything for the family

*Your POV*

He pushes me into my room.. I fall on the ground and keep breathing heavily..

My knees hurt, my ankles hurt, my legs my arms, my throat, my face every damn thing hurts so much right now I can't do anything.. I need to calm down..

»I'll bring your meal later.« Hugo says and unlocks the door behind him when he leaves..

Is he going to be my ‚Guardian' from now on? I can only ope that he's not because he's not like red hair.. he's huge and fat and ugly. He's like almost fourty, mean and harsh. He doesn't care. Like even less than red hair.

I'm sure that he doesn't even know what the word 'feeling' means. I didn't catch him changing his mimic once. I don't want to be with him.

I want to be with red hair and rip his heart out and fight him until he bleeds although he's stronger and he'll stop me but I'll find a way.. but at the same time I really hope to not see him again..

I don't want to see his damn face ever again.. I don't want to see his red strand of hair I don't want to see anything that has something to do with him.. I've never hated anybody so much.

I stand up and clean the dust from my bare knees and realize that they're bleeding.. »Shit..« I rush towards the bathroom and see myself in the mirror.. this is another way to get a heart attack.

I'm so messed up like I've gone through the hardest MMA fight ever.. so I take my clothes off and hop into the shower immediately hoping to calm down a little bit..

I'm still shaking and I can't stop thinking about Tyler.. that hit him with a fucking car.. I start crying again with that thought.. only because of what I have done.. he was serious with what he said and did. He has no mercy. Even the smallest mistake could kill them.. I can't let them get hurt...

I'm going crazy with the thought of his death because of me.. I would never forgive myself.. does he even realize how crazy what he's done actually is?

Does he even knows how angry and hurt he made me feel with this? Good I'm doing whatever he wants from me again and I'm not going to run away but only for Tyler...

I know he's serious and I not going to risk it ever again.. how couldn't I think about him when I ran away? Did I really think he would leave my family alone? This should've happened at the beginning...

I feel like I'm totally new here and getting punished.. like everything is starting all over again. I really don't want this.. but I need to be patient.. I need to keep calm and not think about Tyler or anything else that could make me totally weak...

Anything that could hurt me even more and make me wanna kill myself he wants me to be a good girl again.. I will be a good girl again. I never even succeeded in being bad..

I need to do this for Tyler.. I'm only doing it for him.. again. And I swear if they won't tell me how Tyler is then I'll lose my mind but for now there's no point in freaking out because I can't do anything to help him, I can't visit him or anything else..

I can't do shit and that's what I hate the most.. I won't be at the point where I'm confused again. I won't let them do with with me..

When I get out of the shower I clean my room since everything is still messy from when I left... then I walk towards the windows with a huge hope and open the curtains.. holy fuck they welded it..

I try to open it but it's impossible.. does that mean I can't even get air? What the fuck? They are literally taking away my freedom and every piece of life that I have left.. that makes me even more angry and more pissed..