All Night || d.t

Confessing

*Ethan's POV*

I can't stop smiling while I gently caress her hair and run my hand through it. She literally fell asleep like this.. I need to wake her but I don't want to.. I wish I could caress her hair forever.. she seems so tired and exhausted.

Eyebrows are still furrowed and I could swear she's still shaking. She's been so worried I couldn't believe it. I didn't think it would mean so much to her. For me it was nothing.

I've gone through a lot for Pablo but for her it was something so important that she was crying like there wouldn't be a morning. This showed me how much I mean to her... and that means a lot to me.

Knowing that someone actually cares about me, my health and how I feel feels really amazing.. I'm afraid of losing that.. I'm afraid that it'll never happen again.. I didn't know I would mean so much to her..

I like how clingy she sometimes is.. and I'm really stupid for not giving her back what she deserves.. I've been so mean and hurt her many times only because I wanted to protect her..

I thought Pablo would hurt her or make me stay away from her if I would be too close with her.. I've been afraid of being too close to her because I'm not used to this. I'm not used to being used and attached to someone..

I don't like it to get attached to people and watch them leaving afterwards. That's why I've always been so cold and heartless.. so people would stay away from me. But she got me weak.

I can actually trust her.. she's not like the other girls.. she likes me and without even knowing anything about me. She likes me for being who I am and I appreciate that.

She doesn't need to know anything about me.. she doesn't care about my name, my family, where I come from or anything else. She's just fine with what she has. I like that.. and I can't hold it back anymore.

I want her. I literally want her. We've lost enough time with this stupid ass game. I already know her so well, there's no need to get to know her even better..

Suddenly she wakes up and I pull my hand so fast away that my other arm hurts. I wince. I need some time to practice showing love..

She looks like she hasn't slept at all when she scratches her eyes and runs her hand through her hair but when she looks at me it seems like she remembered what happened last night and looks eyes wide open.

She stands up and sits down into the bed. She was sitting on the ground with her head on the bed and she is not resisting or complaining about her back hurting like the fuck does it even hurt.

She still looks so tired and exhausted like she's going to fall asleep again.. the darkness under her eyes and her messy hair.. I'm sure she didn't even sleep at all.

»How do you feel? Are you in pain? When did you wake up and why didn't you wake me?« she asks still scared and worried.

I love it when she's asking me if I'm okay. It feels amazing.. feels like what my family has never given me.

»I'm fine. No pain anymore.« I answer and she seems relieved..

She wants to stand up but I grab her wrist and stop her. She looks at me confused.. if I don't talk about it now then I probably never will..

I look right into her eyes.. saying I love you would be way too fast and too much for now. So I try to make it clear.

»I've never told Pablo about anything that you talked to me about or told me.« I say out of nowhere and she furrows her eyebrows. I know what she thinks that I've done but I didn't..