Capture My Soul: A Lucifer Fanfiction

Chapter Twenty Four: Falling

"Well, I met him at Lux. He found me after my friend left me alone to go flirt with some guy." I recounted our meeting, relaying how I had found him disarmingly attractive but had found myself scared of the feelings of lust he seemed to dredge up in me. I explained how he had looked astonished at my rejection and how I had fled, completely terrified. Linda asked for me to go on and I relayed the next part of our relationship. Him showing up at my dorm, our first few dates, when I told him I was a virgin. I told her everything, so much so that I dont think I had ever spoken so much. I realized then that Linda now knew more than Jade did and I internally laughed at the thought of Jades reaction to that.

"You speak as if youve never really had a choice in whether or not you could be with him, why is that?" I shrugged, tucking my hands underneath my thighs. "I havent really had a choice, really. Ever since we met Ive felt as if Ive been swept up in this whirlwind of feelings. My emotions and body have seem to take control." I chuckled. "Everyhings happening so quickly and yet, I feel as if Ive known him forever."

"Now, you said that you were worried about him not caring about you? Whys that?" I had told her about my panic attack at work and how stressed out I was to confront Lucifer. "Clearly I care about him more, I mean look at him and look at me!" I gestured to the door and then to myself as I spoke. But Linda frowned, "I see a young attractive couple in love." She said earnestly. I blushed a deep scarlet, looking at my feet. "Lucifer doesnt love me," I mumbled, a sharp pain igniting in my heart. "He told me he doesnt fall in love."

"And you believed him?" Linda countered. I shrugged, who was I to question what somebody felt. I knew he cared about me, but I also knew that that went only so far and that I cared about him more. "Do you love Lucifer?" She asked, voice soft. I looked up at her, meeting her soft gaze. She looked like a friend then, not like a therapist and I immediately found myself spilling my dark secrets to her. Tears stung my eyes, one sliding down my cheek. "Yeah, I-I think I do." Linda smiled sympathetically, handing me a box of tissues. I graciously took one and and laughed nervously wiping my eyes. "Im sorry, I-Im just-" I stopped to suck in a deep breath, trying to calm myself down.

"After the attack, it seemed to stupid to have walked away from him that night. To think things through. I just want to be with him but Im-" I paused and Linda urged me on. "Youre what?"

"Im scared. Not of this idiot psycho or even the fact that he is the real goddamn Devil. Im scared that Im giving everything I have to this man and that in the end, it wont be enough." Linda nodded, warm gaze watching me. "So is that why you chose to finally sleep with him? Because you realized you loved him?"

"Yes," I whispered, nodding. "Im sure he thinks he changed my mind and believe me, had he had a different personality but the same sexpertise-" she smiled at my use of phrase, "Im sure I still would have caved eventually. But, hes brought out something in me that no one else has. Ive fallen for him." I shrugged. Linda nodded and I felt kind of relieved that I was able to finally say it. "I belong to him in every way and yet...how could he feel the same? If the devil dealt in souls he'd already have mine." I sighed, shaking my head and rubbing my eyes. "God I sound pathetic,"

"You dont, first love is very intense and emotional. What I think, from what I saw between you two, is that your relationship is helping you grow to be better people. You say youve never felt like this before, but what is it about him thats causing you to change?" I thought for a moment, flushing as I recalled our sexual encounters. "He makes me believe Im sexy, I feel sexy and beautiful when Im with him. Im not as shy as I used to be, I suppose. I feel more confidant, too."

"So I wouldnt worry that youre in an unhealthy relationship, clearly these are all good things."

"But isnt it wrong to be in a relationship you know cant or wont go anywhere?" This brought Linda up short and I sagged slightly. I was right and I knew it, things with Lucifer would surely end in tragedy, right? "Yes, I suppose youre right," she started slowly, holding up a hand when I tried to add more. "But, who said this relationship isnt going anywhere? Youve moved in with him-"