Capture My Soul: A Lucifer Fanfiction

Chapter Twenty Nine: Hope and Fear

I had never thought that I would be the person to let a man dictate the way I live my life, but in the weeks that followed, I didnt think twice about it. My grief for Lucifer had lessened, but only enough to keep me functioning. My life became a pattern, get up, shower, go to work or class, come home, and cry myself to sleep.

I was still staying with Chloe, and although she never brought it up, I knew she was aware of the fact that every night, horrible sobs would rip through me. I tried to keep quiet, for Trixies sake, but could only manage so much. My life revolved around work and school and nothing more. I didnt dare try to write, my mind too clouded with grief and anxiety to focus on creativity. I avoided anything that might remind me of him, staying away from music and television, movies ad certain foods. I think I would have starved had Chloe not forced me to eat, although I could barely stomach that either.

I avoided Jade like the plague, texting her and letting her know that I was just buckling down on things and that the one class I had with her was cutting into a prime working shift, so I would skip it and catch up online instead. She seemed to buy my lies, but I knew it was only a matter of time until she figured it out. If Jade could see me she would fly of the wall. It had only been about ten days since...the incident, but I had lost weight, a considerable amount.

I was miserable. Walking through the world as if I had no soul.

The only spark of life that seemed to come back to me was when Chloe's daughter Trixie was around. Her innocence and exuberance was a breath of fresh air and in the moments I spent with her, it was like I had come back to life momentarily. I loved that little girl, but even she could only do so much.

It was Thursday night when I got the text. I was sitting in Chloe's living room, textbook spread out in front of me, when my phone chimed. I frowned reaching over to pick it up and checked the screen.

Lorelai, we need to talk. Please meet me in an hour at my place

My hand flew to my mouth, unbidden tears coming to my eyes. The message was from Lucifer and my chest heaved. I had barely let myself think of him the last ten days, let alone remember anything that had happened between us. I shook my head, feeling the hurt spring up along with something else...hope. He wants to talk, I thought, maybe...maybe he wants to. But I didnt let myself finish that thought. If I started hoping that something could happen, I was inevitably setting myself up for more pain.

And I didnt think I could survive any more pain.

I sighed, closing my eyes and thinking. Did I go see him? Or did I ignore it? It didnt seem to matter whatever logical reasoning I could think of however, my heart was already pounding at the thought of seeing him. I missed him so much and although I knew he didnt feel the same about me, I desperately wanted to believe this meeting was going to mean something. With a resolve I had forgotten I had, I got up, hurrying into the bathroom. I stripped down and hopped into the shower, all the while trying to suppress the rising excitement growing inside of me.

* * *

Lucifer was seated at the bar of some upscale bar when his phone chimed. He pulled it out of his pocket, frowning as he saw the display.

Lucifer, we need to talk. Please meet me in an hour at your place

The message was from Lorelai. Over the last few weeks, Lucifer had lived in a constant state of buzzed. He had tried simply to forget about the girl, but like when they had initially met, he couldnt get her out of his mind. Her green eyes haunted him in his dreams. He heard her giggle everywhere and was constantly seeing women who resembled her. None were as beautiful, of course, but they resembled her enough to shake him.