The Phoenix

Chapter Fifteen

Trigger Warning:
Slight Mentions of sexual assault/ abuse in this chapter.

Chapter Fifteen

Mac's POV

The first thing I noticed when I awoke was the throbbing pain in the back of my head. It faded to a dull pain and disappeared as I focused on my surroundings. Kira was sitting with Scott, an ice pack held to her head. Stiles' body was on the veterinarian table.

"Oh my god." I whispered, "Is he dead?"

"No." Deaton replied walking into the room. "The nogitsune is hurt and hidden away but he isn't dead and neither is our dear Stiles." I nodded my head, walking to the front lobby. The door was closed preventing me from leaving. I sighed and turned to call out to Deaton when I noticed Scott standing behind me.

"Are you okay?" He asked and I nodded my head, wrapping my arms around myself. "Mac, talk to me."

"I feel dirty." I explained. I feel like my skin wasn't clean. It didn't feel like my own.

"Because you had sex with Stiles?" Scott asked.

"No. That's the thing." I said. "I didn't have sex with Stiles. I had sex with that thing inhabiting him. I feel like it took advantage of me. He played with my feelings for Stiles. I lost my virginity to a literal monster."

"And I will never forgive myself." A voice said making me jump. I hadn't noticed Stiles had woken up or walked into the room. "I can remember it all now. I can see everything he has done to people and I'm disgusted." Scott made his way out of the room, giving us time to talk.

"Stiles." I said but he cut me off.

"No, I'm so sorry Mac. I can't believe I'd do something like that." Stiles said, his eyes trained to the floor.

"Stiles, I-" I started but paused as he looked up at me. Looking in his eyes, all I could remember is the cold look the nogitsune gave me. The feeling I felt when he confessed about that night. "Stiles, it's not your fault."

"It is." He said, his voice so defeated. I wanted to hug him but the thought of it made my stomach churn. I had to get outta here.

"I-I can't. I'm sorry." I said, wrapping my arms around myself. "I know it wasn't you, but I can't look at you right now. I can't, I'm sorry. I just can't."

I walked back into the examination room, trying my best not to burst out in tears. I need to leave. I need to leave here now, but I couldn't go home. Neither Isaac or Derek were here to comfort me. Both being indisposed at the moment, left me at a loss.

"Hey, you okay?" Scott asked. I shook my head, not trusting myself to speak. "It's gonna be okay. I'm gonna call my mom and you can stay in Isaac's room tonight okay?" I nodded again.

~

Melissa's eta was about 10 minutes and it was the longest 10 minutes of my life. I sat in the corner lost in thought. I kept the arms wrapped tightly around my body, doing everything in my power not to fall apart. That thing, the thing with Stiles face used me. It took my innocence and played me like a violin. Nothing my mom ever did made me feel like I felt at this moment.

I liked Stiles so much, but I can't look at him the same. I know it's not his fault or anything he could've controlled. But everytime I look at him, my stomach turns. It's all the trickster's fault. It's ruined Stiles' and I relationship, our friendship and it was basking in glory.

"Mac?" A voice said pulling my from thoughts. I looked over to see Scott and Melissa looking at me in concern. I was going to question them when I noticed my vision tinted orange.

"Sorry." I said quietly, shutting my eyes till they were out of their fiery state. I sighed, grabbing my bag and followed Melissa out. Scott wanted to stay with Stiles and Kira but promised not to come home too late. Melissa silently drove back to her house and I surprisingly held it together. We got out the car, still silent. I thought I could keep it together until I got is Isaac's room, but I was wrong. As soon as we made it past the threshold, I started sobbing. I dropped to my knees and cried, harder than I think I've ever cried.

Melissa dropped down and wrapped her arms around me. Whispering and telling me it would be okay and other sweet comforting things. She wiped my tears and helped me up from the floor. I still cried, my vision blurred as she led me up the stairs. We walked past Isaac's room and I looked at her confused.

"I don't know what's going on, but Scott asked me to bring you here instead of home." She explained, "By you tears, I know you don't want to be alone so you're sleeping in my room, if that's okay?" I nodded in relief. We got to her room and she sat on her bed. My tears had calmed. I watched as she pulled out a pair of old pants and a shirt.

"What's this for?" I asked.

"Change into something comfy and get under the covers. If you want, we can talk or we can sleep." She said and handed me the clothes. I took them and headed into her bathroom. I looked at myself in the mirror. My eyes and nose were a horrible red. My hair was everywhere. I looked sick. I splashed some water on my face and changed. I walked out of the room to see the covers pulled back. Melissa was laying down and patted the space next to her when she noticed my presence.

"What's the verdict?" She asked after I sat down.

"I don't know. I want to talk about it but I'm not even sure how I should feel or react." I said.

"Is it about Stiles?" She asked.

"Yes and no." I said. I looked at my hands and sighed. "A few weeks ago, I had sex with Stiles."

"Okay." She said quietly, urging me to go on.

"Or what I thought was Stiles. It was that demon inside of him. He tricked me into thinking it was Stiles. I feel dirty and I can't even look at Stiles without feeling sick to my stomach. I feel bad that I feel like this. It wasn't his fault. He didn't do it to me, but I think I blame him anyway." I confessed, looking at my hand. Melissa sat in silence before putting h r hand on mine.

"You went through something tragic and you are just in your feelings. Your feelings are valid. I don't necessarily agree with blaming Stiles. Because you're right it wasn't him. He is being possessed by an evil fox spirit. If you need time away from him and need somewhere else to stay, you're more than welcome to stay here." Melissa said. I felt my eyes starting to water again.

"I'm sorry." I said, wiping my eyes.

"Don't apologize for crying Mac." She said softly.

"I just-" I said, my voice breaking, "I've never had someone be so nice to me. I wish I could've had you as a mother."

"Mac, over the past few months I've thought of you as a daughter. I might not have birthed you, but you are still my child." Melissa said, pulling me into a hug. I could feel the tears I'd been trying to hold back falling. "Come on, let's head to bed. We've both had a long day."

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Mama Melissa is one of my favorite parents. She's just so amazing and kick ass. I want her to be the mother figure Mac never had. Melissa is so caring and it just makes sense to me.

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