The Phoenix

Chapter Thirty Seven

Chapter Thirty Seven

Mac's POV

"Knock, knock." I said opening the door to Derek's loft. I hadn't seen him in a few weeks and I thought it would be a good idea for us to talk.

"In here." He called out. He was in the kitchen, cooking what I was assuming was some dinner.

"Ooh good." I said taking a fry off the plate he had finished cooking.

" I need to get a lock for that door." He said, smacking my hand from taking another fry.

"Make me one?" I asked, looking at the burger he was cooking. He just grunted but grabbed another patty and threw it in the stove. "I think I loved Fetus Derek more."

"Har har." He said, flipping his burger.

"You put the ass in sass when you were younger. Plus you kept flirting with me. It was weird but kinda cute." I said, taking another fry.

"Yeah I remember." He said with a smirk.

"What do you mean you remember?" I asked. Did he remember what Kate did to him?

"I still don't remember how I got transferred back to my teenage self but I remember everything that happened after I woke up." He said, flipping my burger.

"Oh." I said, thinking back to what Fetus Derek said about first loves. Was he right? "Derek?"

"Hmm?" He said focusing on his cooking.

"Why do you keep this wall up?" I asked him. His back stiffened. He turned off the stove and put the burgers on a plate.

"What do you mean?" He asked, acting clueless.

"Don't do that. You're doing it again." I said, trying not to get frustrated. "You keep a wall up. I learned more about you in less than 24 hours from younger you than in all the years that I've known you."

"It's just-" He said and then didn't finish.

"Just what?" I asked, feeling my frustration starting to bubble to the surface. The man I loved, the only man I've ever loved, was just so shut off that it makes me crazy.

"I don't want to get hurt." He raised his voice.

"Have I ever gave you the impression that I'd hurt you?" I asked him.

"Look at Kate and Jennifer!" He snapped.

"Are you comparing me to those maniacs?" I asked incredulously, stepping away from him. That actually hurt. He chose Jennifer over me. She might've hurt him and broke his trust but he did all that to me first. "After everything that happened with Jennifer, you dare compare that bitch to me?"

"Mac-" He said, walking toward me but I took a step back.

"You think I'm like her? You think I'm like either of them?" I asked, my voice cracking. I couldn't tell if I was more angry or hurt by his words. Those two were some of the most evil women I've ever encountered. They brutally murdered multiple people and used him to their advantage. To think that he'd think I was like those two, it was wounding.

"Mac, no."  He said grabbing my hands and pulling me to him. "I would never think you were anything like them. I would never compare you to them. You are too good of a person."

"Then why can't you open up to me?" I asked him. "Why do you always push me away?"

"Because I can't trust you." He said and a wave of shock went through my body. "I can't trust that you won't hurt me. I can't trust that anybody won't hurt me. I'm the only person I can rely on."

"And you're just expecting me to trust that you won't hurt me again? You broke my heart in ways I never want to feel again and I'm supposed to trust you and you can't trust me?" I asked him, pulling my hands away from him.

"Maybe you can't." He said and I closed my eyes to try and mentally shield myself from that blow. He was right though. Maybe I can't trust that he won't ever hurt me again.

"I think you were right." I said opening my eyes, trying to keep the tears that formed in my eyes from falling.

"What?" He asked confused.

"First loves never work." I clarified. "I might not have been yours, but you were mine."

"Wait, Mac." Derek said and I shook my head.

"Derek, I love you and I always will. But I think we were trying to force something that wasn't meant to be." I said to him.

"I'll always love you too, Mac." He said back. I put my hands on his cheeks and pulled him to me for one last kiss. I cherished it because I knew it would never happen again. When we broke apart, I put my forehead against his. "See you later, Derek."

"See you later, Mac." He said. With that, I headed to the door.

"Hey." I said turning around. He looked up at me with sad eyes. "You'll always be my rock."

He gave a small smile. I waited till the loft door was closed behind me to release the tears. Even though it was the end of Merek, I knew Derek and I would always be there for each other. Derek is still one of my best friends, but we weren't meant to be in a relationship. I knew that now.

When I got to my car, I finally was able to stop my tears. I realized I left the food he cooked me. I couldn't go back up there after that emotional departure. Plus, he probably ate it all anyway. I started driving home when I got a call from Scott.

"Can you come by? There's a situation." Scott said. What now? Can't I have a simple night to myself to gorge myself on ice cream and wallow in my emotions.

"Where are you guys at?" I called out. Stiles truck was outside so I knew he was here as well.

"We're upstairs. In Scott's bathroom." Isaac yelled. When I walked in the bathroom, the three boys were standing in front of the tub looking down. I was shocked with what I saw they were looking at. That freshman kid Liam Dunbar duct taped and looking scared.

"What the hell did you idiots drag me into?" I asked the three of them. Oh my god, we're going to jail.

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What did you think of Derek and Mac's breakup/separation? I wanted to try different avenues for Mac. Plus I kinda love Derek and Braden, so I gotta keep that ship alive.

This is gonna be the final chapter of The Phoenix. Keep an eye out for Ashes which will be the next book in the series. Hopefully I'll have it up soon.

Let me know what you think?

Also while we're at it, #BlackLivesMatter

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