Status: In the Midst

Distance.

Zara Costanza

Not long after my week-long break in Atlanta, I was flown out to Venice, where we filmed in the most beautiful cathedrals. I got to take plenty of photos and explore ancient history in Italy and the places outside of it.

It was great, but of course, I was gone for another three weeks. This time around, Tom and I handled it quite well. It was only a six-hour difference, so we were able to make the timezone differences work well. We were FaceTiming daily, texting whenever we had the chance, and even calling each other.

I had a one hour break to wander around this amazing cathedral located in Venice, while filming for Anastasia.

I FaceTimed Tom and he was currently on-set. Because of the CGI, he had these black dots all on his face and he wore this grey suit. When he first began filming, it was hilarious talking to him with these specs on his face, but now, I was honestly used to it.

"Hey! Look at where I am! It's amazing and look at all of this architecture, this is literally the city of art. There's art everywhere and it's so beautiful and inspiring and I honestly feel like painting right now," I said, flipping the camera every few seconds to show Tom the artwork on the walls, ceilings, and even on the floor.

He shook his head in disbelief, "I can't believe that you're over there. And I'm over here. I mean, can we just appreciate my view," he flipped his camera and showed me the studio in Atlanta with the ginormous green screens.

"I mean, I was always a huge fan of green," I said while laughing. "The CGI dots on your face makes it so hard to take you seriously. Gosh, you look funny. And kinda cute!" I added cheerfully.

"Oh yeah? Says you, Zar. You're standing beside a naked human sculpture. Look at his-"

I turned around and gasped. Then, burst out laughing. "You are such a child, Thomas Stanley Holland!" I took a few steps back towards this other sculpture.

"Is that right? Since when did you use my full name?"

"Since now! I felt it necessary to. Later on, we're going to eat dinner at this pizzeria and-"

I heard a voice call Tom through his screen. "Tom! You're on in 5 minutes. Come over here, we need to do touch-ups!"

"Zar, I really gotta go. But enjoy your pizza and the rest of your night. Talk to you tomorrow," he said quickly.

"Okay. Have fun!"

He waved and I smiled and then we both hung up.

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Day by day, and week by week, our timing for each other became worse and worse. After I wrapped up filming for Anastasia, Tom had to do a few more shoots for Chaos Walking which would take another two weeks.

He flew to Toronto yesterday so that we could spend Christmas Eve and Christmas day together, before he had to go to London to spend some time with his family. While he was in London, Zendaya and Laura were coming to Canada to visit me until New Years.

I was excited to see my best friends because I've been so busy lately with filming that I've barely gotten the time to phone either of them.

Shortly after the holidays, he had to fly back to Atlanta to do reshoots for Infinity War and then he would begin his press tour with a bunch of the MCU cast for the movie. We spent so much time apart, that for a very long time, I convinced myself that this was only making our relationship stronger.

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Before we knew it, it was already Christmas.

It was snowing in Toronto and the festive spirits were being shared all around.

This Christmas, was Tom and I's first Christmas together as a couple, and we were failing miserably. Neither of us knew what to get the other for gifts. My idea for his Christmas gift sprung to me just a few days before.

I created a photo album that had a ton of photos of us beginning from when we were just friends to our relationship now. I left a couple pages blank in hopes to fill them in the future. I also got him this pair of sunglasses that he showed me a week or so ago when we last saw each other.

We decided to put a gift limit to two items because neither of us wanted to be too extravagant. It also didn't help that I was dating Spider-Man. Tom had a lot of things that he wanted already, so it made it much harder for me to shop for him.

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I woke up the next morning in a happy mood. Even though Tom's flight wasn't until tonight, we had the majority of the day to spend together on Christmas.

We exchanged gifts and I was very happy with what he had bought me. He got me this bracelet which had a small heart charm on it that had Z and a T. It was beautiful and suited me perfectly because it was simple.

After our gift exchange, we left my apartment to go for a walk. We ended up having a mini snowball fight and acted like children while playing in the snow.

Even on Christmas, our time together was extremely limited. The fun was put to a stop when we realized that it was time for Tom to leave for the airport, to catch a flight to London.

It's selfish of me to only think that it's difficult for us to see each other, because it's just as hard on his family. Especially, his parents and Paddy. Sam and Harry often visit him on-set, but for the rest of his family, they haven't seen him for just as long as me, probably.

I drove him to the airport and we said our goodbyes. It's sad because it's Christmas. And Christmas is both of our favourite holidays, but this year it felt like it was being cut short.

The bright side is: after I said goodbye to Tom, I drove to my parents' home and I had a lovely Christmas dinner with them.

Overall, this year's Christmas was bittersweet.