ZaraCostanza ✅: 2016 vs 2018. @zendaya you are an icon when it comes to selfies. #wemissliz
Comments
carson.anderson: OMg pics with tom in it
collandsfans: finally a pic with tom
georgelucasses: I love this cast
jordanklum: WOW I MISS U ALL pTOGETHER
rufus_lily: Aw colland is cute
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I got to the studio early in the morning and went to my trailer. My makeup and hair were being done while I got caught up on social media, scrolling through my Instagram and Twitter feeds.
After an hour, I changed into my character's clothes and went to the set and waited a while to be called to film. I rehearsed my lines and reviewed them over and over in this empty room where myself and my castmates would go to rehearse as a group.
I paced around repeating my lines over and over again.
Even though the door was opened, someone knocked.
I turned on my heels to see that it was Tom. He held two cups of coffee.
"Hey," he said, giving me a grin. "I thought you might want some coffee. One milk and one cream, if I remember correctly," he added cheekily.
I smiled as it was a pleasant surprise, to be given a cup of coffee. "I'm surprised that you remembered, actually. Thank you. How'd you know that I'd be here? I don't come here often."
"I know. I just guessed. Do you want to go over lines? You know, like how we used to."
"I suppose, I mean, you came bearing coffee," I handed him the hard copy of the script, "I'm going over scene 7."
He took the script and smirked.
In that moment of him just surprising me with coffee, and even smirking; there was something that made me forget about wanting him to be my boyfriend. In the moment, what I really wished for, was my best friend. For a while, it really seemed like we were good friends again, as if there was no history between us.
This is what makes things so complicated. I want him to be my boyfriend, but obviously, he's with Addison.
The thing that I want the most, is for our relationship to go back to being best friends. If I can't have him as my boyfriend, I still want him to be in my life at least as a friend. Because at least he'll still be there.
After a few days of filming, I finally got the chance to hang out with Laura and Zendaya. For the first time in a while, there were no boys and it was just the three of us.
The three of us were lounging around in Laura's hotel room while she packed since she had to leave for next day.
"So, tell us about your whole Tom situation," said Laura, while folding some of her things into her suitcase.
"I honestly don't know. I think that I'm actually over him, guys. After the first day of seeing him in Atlanta, I was convinced that I was in love with him. But now that I know about Addison, I know that he's happy and that makes me happy. Lately, it feels like he's been treating me like a friend, kind of like when we filmed Homecoming. The other day, he got me coffee, so that was nice. Those little gestures just kind of remind me of what it was like when we were best friends, and that made me miss that aspect of our friendship."
"It's true," Zendaya agreed in a happy tone. "When we filmed our first scene together with Tom in it, both of you were handling it very professionally. Both of you really do value your careers, and when I saw you two on-screen, it really proved how great of actors that you both are, despite your personal stuff. I'm really proud of you, Zar."
I tidied up some things on Laura's bed and added them into her suitcase. "Thanks, I really thought that the whole work thing would be really hard, but I feel like I thought that we both would've acted another way with our history, and that would make it difficult, but so far it's been easy. I thought that maybe at this point I might be begging you guys for more ice cream and soup, but I'm happier than ever. Maybe it's because I've made peace with myself that Tom and I really are over."
Laura stood up and extended her arms and embraced me in a hug. "I'm so proud of you, Zara. I'm just so happy that your happy and that Tom's also happy."
"Do you think it's too soon to maybe start seeing people?" I asked sarcastically.
"You don't want to dive in head first," Laura said while chuckling.
"Fair enough," I replied. "How's Jordan? What is it now, like your 8th date and this boy still hasn't asked you to be his girlfriend?"
"Holy, I almost forgot! Date number eight tomorrow! Gheez," said Zendaya.
"Hey, we agreed that we were going to be taking it slow," said Laura, holding up a cute shirt and jeans, "what do you think?"
"It's cute," Zendaya and I both said at the same time.
We quickly returned to the topic of Jordan, "If you say so, but if you stick in this grey area for too long, it's going to turn into the friend zone," said Zendaya. I always admired her honesty. She was typically right, too.
"I know, but I have a really good feeling about this one."
"Didn't you for almost all of them?" I asked, holding up a few more shirts as options for Laura to wear.
Laura rolled her eyes, "Whatever. I'm giving him time. Besides, I really like him. So, I'm willing to wait."
Zendaya and I both awed.
Listening to Laura rave about Jordan for the past few weeks has really made me think that maybe it's time that I actually give people a chance and start to at least look at other guys.
Ever since I realized that I had feelings for Tom and until now, I never batted an eye at any boy.
Maybe it's time for a change... I mean, I feel like I've truly accepted the break up and that we just weren't meant to be. He moved on long ago, and maybe it's time for me to as well.
