Status: In the Midst

Awkward.

Zara Costanza

"He literally told me no because it was a 'weird' time! What's that supposed to mean? Weird because he's seeing Addison? Because I meant it in a friendly way!" I wasn't angry, but I couldn't help but raise my voice as I spoke to Zendaya.

She raised her hands up in the air, "Don't get all frustrated at me!"

I stopped pacing and sat down on a chair in my trailer. I put my elbows on my knees and massaged my temples. "Your right, I'm sorry. I don't know what I expected... he has a girlfriend."

Zendaya stood up from the couch and walked towards me. She put a hand on my shoulder. "Zar, I know it's hard and I know that you were only asking in a friendly way. But you've got to give him some credit. How would you feel if your ex-boyfriend asked you out to coffee while you were dating someone else? I mean, Addison's feelings have to also be considered."

I sighed, "You have a point... it makes sense. Maybe a part of me is just too convinced that we're in the friends stage. He may not even think that."

"Hey, look, if he didn't want to be in the 'friends stage' he wouldn't be the one trying to make amends with you and rebuild your friendship together. Out of everyone, he always ends up practicing lines with you. So, don't blame yourself too much, okay?" She said, rubbing my back.

I looked up at Zendaya, "I guess you're right," I admitted. "I know that you and Laura were joking, but maybe it is time that I try to see other people. I should start paying more attention at least. I mean, since I realized that I had feelings for Tom, I never even batted an eye at another guy. And now, he's moved on and maybe it's time that I do too."

"That sounds like a good solution. But baby steps, right?"

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I walked to the studio with Zendaya. We got to the set and we ended up splitting up because Zendaya had a scene with Jacob first and then we'd be reunited to do a scene with Jacob and Tom.

As I waited around, Tom approached me.

"Hey," he said with his hands in his pockets.

"Hey," I said, giving him a small smile.

We both watched as Zendaya and Jacob got into their positions and said their lines.

For a few seconds, neither of us said anything and it was an awkward silence. I pretended to be watching Zendaya and Jacob intensely hoping that he'd get the vibe that it wasn't awkward.

"I'm really sorry about coffee. I just-I can't really explain it to you now, but maybe I'll get the chance to in a couple of weeks when it's all over," said Tom.

I turned to him and said, "Tom, you don't have to apologize for being in a relationship with Addison. I get it. I mean, it doesn't exactly sound good to say to your girlfriend, 'hey, I'm going to grab some coffee with my ex-girlfriend and then I'm going to film with her later.' I really do get it."

"But Zara, Addison and I aren't serious-"

I raised a hand and cut him off, "Tom, you really shouldn't be saying this kind of stuff to me. I'm your ex-girlfriend. You found love, and just because I asked you to get some coffee doesn't mean that all of the sudden you should jeopordize your relationship," as I said those words, the heartbreak that I felt a long time ago returned. Talking about love to him really cut deep. I stood up from my chair, intending to excuse myself and walk away from this conversation.

Tom grabbed my hand abruptly, "Zara-I still have feel-"

"No, Tom," I said, my eyes beginning to water. "Don't finish your sentence. You don't want to ruin what you have with Addison for me."