desires / fillie

loving someone

millie's pov

6am.
new semester today.

i jump in the shower and i try to relax. i don't want finn in my classes because i feel like it'd be really weird and awkward, and if i take one look at him i'll start bawling my eyes out.

after my shower i go into my room and change into a black crewneck sweatshirt and black leggings. i threw my hair up in a ponytail and slid on my white converse.

on my way to the door, sure enough, robert is passed out with the tv still on. i head out the door and immediately light a cigarette.

it shouldn't be that bad, right?

i roll my windows down but leave the radio off. it's so peaceful.

i get to the school and spot finn walking with a friend. i want to look away from him but i can't. he realizes someone is staring at him and we lock eyes.
he gives a sad smile and continues walking.

a tear rolls down my face.

i wipe it off and head into school.

-

"okay guys i'm ms. dyer in case you haven't had me this year."

english class.
it's not that bad, i actually really like writing.

a tall pale skinny boy with jet black curly hair, freckles like stars, and perfectly carved cheekbones walks in 10 minuets late.

finn.

"i'm so sorry ms. dyer that will never happen again." he claims.
she nods and walks over to her computer.

he takes the empty spot two seats in front of me. he turns and becomes wide eyed. he smiles and i roll eyes.

-

still in english class, the person in front of me places a folded sheet of lined paper on my desk. i give them a confused look and the shrug and point to finn.

i carefully unfolded the note, which said:
"meet me at the spot we met after school today. please."

i put the note in my jacket pocket.

-

throughout the day, i see finn everywhere. english is the only class we have together, but it seems like we have similar routes around the school, since i see him in the halls more than i ever have.

it's the end of the day, so i walk out of the school. i walk over to the spot, and he has yet to show up.

i light my cigarette while leaning up against the cold brick wall. i put my headphones in, and close my eyes.

what would he want to talk about? he already explained it all to me. i don't care anymore.
or at least he thinks i don't.

i feel a tap on my shoulder and i turn my head to see finn. i pull out the earbuds and pause the music.

"what?" i ask harshly.
"i miss you, okay? i miss you a lot and i need you. i know what i did was wrong. i should have pushed harder for her to get off of me. but i don't love her, millie. i love you." he states.

with a tear in my eye and butterflies in my stomach, i whisper,
"i love you too."

we exchange small smiles and he gives me a tight hug. we pull away and stare into each other's eyes.

he leans closer, and i do the same. his hands fall to my waist, and my hands rest on his neck, he pulls me closer, and that's when the electricity sparks.

our lips touch, in a passionate way.
our lips dance with each others, showing so much love.

i pull away, letting it linger. our faces both turn red and he rests his forehead on mine.

he wanted to come home with me, but since we both drove our cars to school, we met at my house.

roberts car was gone, thankfully.

"don't mind the mess, robert gets angry and throws bear bottles, so keep your shoes on in case there's glass somewhere." i say.
he gives a nod, and follows me inside.

"so, what's new?" he asks me.
"nothing much. what about you?" i ask.
"same here."

it's more awkward than i thought it would be, i mean we just kissed not too long ago.

we walk up to my room and he giggles as he looks at pictures of me and my family from when i was little.

since he was in front of me, i closed the door and locked it.

he saw me, and gave a smirk.

-

after a while of talking about our families, we sat on my bed.

i was looking out of my window, and i felt him staring at me. i turned to him, and he smiled.

that fucking smile.

i move closer and kiss him on the cheek. his face turned red, and i kissed his jaw, going down. his cold fingers touch my chin, basically telling me to look at him again. i look up, and he puts his lips on mine. we slowly move in sync, and he lays me down on my back. one hand is on my waist under my shirt, and the other is holding himself up so that his weight isn't on me. i tug at his shirt, and he takes it off. he pulls at mine and i do the same. he stops, and looks at my fresh cuts from yesterday. he kisses them, and whispers "i love you." in my ear.
"i love you too." i whisper back.
he kisses me, softer this time, and his slender fingers play with the lining of my bra, which sends chills down my spine. he doesn't do that to tell me to take it off, he does it to tease me. his hands trail down to the elastic of my leggings, taking them off.
i smile, and wrap my legs around his waist.
i push him over, and crawl on top of him this time. i'm sitting with both legs on each side of his torso, as he lays flat on his back. i lean forward and kiss his stomach, going up further. i feel his breathing hitch, which means i hit a spot. i go harder on that spot, and his breathing quickens. i giggle, and move to his neck. he lightly moans, and i kiss his lips. i'm still sitting on him, but bent so that his chest and mine are touching. his hands are placed on my back, and the move down, passing my butt, and to the back of my upper thighs.
after another minute, i roll off and lay next to him.
both of us out of breath, we exchange "i love yous" before falling asleep.

i guess today wasn't so bad after all.

——————————
THEYRE BACK
oh and quick question, am i going too far with the make out scenes?
and is there too much of that?

i have an idea of where this is gonna go. i know not much has happened yet, but just wait and seeeee;)