desires / fillie

rock + roll

finns pov

"finn wake up! you're gonna be late!"

i sleepily roll over to look at my alarm clock for it to read 7:01.

shit.

i sigh swearing to myself and run to the bathroom. after taking the quickest shower ever, i change into a plain white t shirt and black jeans. i run out the front door after saying goodbye to my mom, jumping into to car taking myself to school.

when i arrive i park a few spots across from a girl sitting in her car, lazily smoking a cigarette while crying slowly and calmly.

i've always noticed this girl, i've never known her name, but i've been seeing her around ever since middle school.

i sit in silence admiring her when she was clearly at her worst. she pulls her head up, to only see me staring at her. i quickly look away and jump out of my car into the school.

did she notice? she definitely noticed, i'm so fucking stupid.

i'm snapped out of my thoughts when my shoulder is slapped following by an arm around my neck.

"yo finnlard, what's up my dude?" gaten asks, leading me to roll my eyes and groan.

sure, gaten is my friend, but he can be annoying.

"YO FINN THINK FAST!"

i turn around walking backwards, when a football comes towards me but i fail to catch it, causing me to bump into someone behind me.

i turn around and there she is, laying flat on her stomach before she turns on her back using her elbows for support.

"you should really watch where you're going, dickhead." she demands.
"oh shit sorry."
i was about to help her up when i take a glance at what she dropped in her fall.
a razor.

"is that...yours?" i calmly ask.
"yes, you can go now."
i follow her request but i grab the sharp object that was laying on the cold floor and walk away without looking back.

why would she have this? to hurt herself? is that why i see her crying all the time?

-

it's the end of the day, and i'm standing at my locker staring at the sharp shiny metal object that sits in my hand. i fiddle with it, when i'm interrupted by the one and only, gaten.

"hey what are you doing later?" he asks.
"probably band practice, why?"
"noah wants to have a party, but he needs help organizing. wanna come?"
"not really."
i just want to sit home and think about what went down today.
"alright, your loss finnlard."
and with that, he leaves.

i walked out of the doors closest to my locker when a thin girl smoking a cigarette appeared in the corner of my eye, i turn and build up the courage to walk over to her.

"you still want this back?" i ask, her razor held up in my hand.
"i don't really care, little do you know, i have more." she claims, giving a devilish smirk while taking a hit of her cigarette.

hot.

"i didn't know you smoked." i lie, trying to hide the fact that i've had a small crush on her since middle school, knowing everything but her name.

"you do now, loverboy." she throws her cigarette on the ground putting it out, before she walks to her car. i follow her, wanting to introduce myself and hopefully make a better conversation.

she turns in confusion, as if i should have walked away by now.

"i'm finn by the way, finn wolfhard." i say.
she just rolls her eyes and hops in her car, starting the engine. she notices my staring again.

"are you waiting for my name?" she asks.
"well i'd like to get it sooner or later."
"maybe later, wolfhard."

she rolls up her window and before i know it, she's gone.

now it's my turn to have a cigarette. i'm sitting in my car, letting the smoke cloud my car. after about 15 minuets of sitting in silence, i drive home.

———————
okay so the story is just now coming together lol