Him || Namjin

Chapter 34 | What am I to you

Jin POV
I slowly open my eyes and check the time. It was 5:00am, I check in the date and it already a Monday. The weekend went by really fast. I lay back down and try to fall back to sleep but I can't. I just got up and start doing my morning routine like always.

I got ready and I check the time and it was 5:30am. Time is going to slow. I don't want to go to school so early. I walk out of my room and look around the house if I see that I can clean or something.

There was no mess, smush, nothing, it a clean house. I got nothing to do. I sat on the couch and see what should I do. I look over in my right side and I saw my Nintendo switch. I reach over it and start playing Mario kart.

While I was playing Mario kart, I start to feel sad out of the blue. . I stop my game and look around the house. It's weird to be home alone, not having someone to tell me to have fun at school or tell me how much they love me.

I put the Nintendo switch down and start getting my stuff. I look around for the last time and start walking to school. I don't care if I'm early, it just, being in that house makes me sad. Having the best memories there, just become to dust.

While I was walking to school, I connect my earbuds in my phone and start listening to music. The cold breeze hitting my face felt nice.

But I don't like it because it makes my nose and ears turn bright red. My glasses start to fog up because the cold but I was to cold just to clean them off.

I finally made it to school and quickly went inside. Once I got in, I start shaking off the cold and wipe my glasses. I put my glasses back on and I can see everybody was looking at me, whispering on something to one another.

I start walking to my locker and the whisper was getting closer and closer, louder and louder. I finally made it to my locker. I can't believe what I'm seeing. My heart drop. 

My locker was filled with words that are hurtful. Some say faggot, ugly, no one like you, disgusting, useless, pathetic, die, fucking homo, etc.

I hold back my tears and open my locker. When I open it, there were some paper that say some rude stuff and some drawing were impertinent. I just grab my stuff and smash my locker. I can feel a lump forming in my throat, tears wanting to come out of my eyes.

I start walking to first class until someone call my name out. I look up and I saw Jungkook and Jimin, having a worry face. "What wrong Jin?" Jimin question. I look at them and just walk pass them. Not wanting to talk to them.

They were going to talk to me but the bell ring and we all had to go to first period.

I enter to my first period class and I saw everybody look at me. I ignore them and start walking to my desk. Once I got there, there was inappropriate words on it. I put my bag on top of it so I can cover it. I put my head down and wait until class start.

When the late bell was about to ring, his laugh, voice, everything about him got my attention. I look up and I saw him, so happy.

He was talking to Taehyung and both of them were laughing so loud. I look away and the bell finally ding. The teacher finally come in and start taking attendance.

While I was waiting for my name to be called, I hear some girl was talking about the party until they brought my name up. "Dude, that party was fucking lit but did you hear about Seokjin. One of the cheerleaders say she saw him having sex with six guys. Can you believe that." The girl laugh and that trigger me. That shit never happen.

I try to control my anger but that when Taehuyung decided to join the conversation. "No way, he a fucking whore. Am I right Namjoon." He laugh.

I quickly got up and grab all my stuff. I start walking to the door but the teacher was yelling at me to stay. "Bye, have fun sucking on some dicks." Taehyung laugh. Before I walk out, grab my history textbook and throw it to his face. He got hit and quickly got up so he can beat me up. Namjoon quickly got up and hold him down.

"Is that what everyone thinking. Me a fucking whore. You know what, yes I'm gay but so what. I'm proud who I am. I didn't fuck six guys in that party. You guys don't know who I am at all. You just want to join the drama. Why is it so hard for someone that what to be so open but yet, they get bully for that." I start to crack up. "I been going to hard time right now and this is what I get. Listen up everyone, be who you are, don't listen what people." I look at Namjoon dead in the eye. "Just be you and be happy who you are." Tears are falling down my face.

I couldn't hold it any longer, this hurt me so much. I don't know what to say anymore. I bet he told everyone about this. Telling them that I kiss him and six others, even though I didn't. I grab my English book and throw it to Namjoon face. He dodge the book and just keep on looking at me. I look at the teacher and left out of the class. Not saying a word. Once I was at less four feet away from the classroom, I couldn't take it anymore and broke down. "Is this what I-I get.....trying to be nice to him. I guess being invisible can make him happy. I should of never forgive him...."