NOAH'S MISTAKE

9. RELEVATION

I look at Lee and he says "I am going to be sitting over here in the corner.  I will not intervene until either of you overstep.  That is what you want right"  I look at Lee and say "yeah."  I hear Noah agree as well.  I watch him passing back and forth.  I couldn't take it so I glance out to the pool and see Sally pressed up against the glass watching us and Adam talking to Gloria.  I guess Gloria saw me because she says something to him and he turns looks at me and winks. I smile shake my head and I hear Noah grunt walk over to the curtain and close them.  I look up at him as he says "I need your undivided attention and I really don't want to watch you flirting with your damn boyfriend."  "Well, Noah technically he is not my boyfriend we are only dating.  To be honest we have only had three dates. Actually I don't know we never really discussed what we are."  "Oh, I just thought.  Never mind what I thought"  

He runs his hands through his hair and finally starts telling me why.  "As I am sure you guessed Sally is just a friend.  I am not seeing anyone either.  When I first met Sally I talked about you a lot.  I told her about our first kiss and well I even told her that it was your first kiss ever  and  explained how I had a lot do with that happening.  I also told her about my past and how I was so, surprised that you still wanted to be with me.  She started telling me as well as all my friends that how could I be so sure that you would still choose me if you had never dated any other guy or kissed one for that matter.  Then the pictures started coming.  I would see pictures of Rachel and Lee or Tuppen and Olivia or even Duncan and whoever he was with that night.  In a lot of the pictures you were alone.  The only times I saw you with anyone were when you were fighting off Warren.  Tuppen told me how much you missed me and how he had to finally knock the crap out of Warren so he would leave you alone.  I also had my new friends talking about all the big important events coming up in your life and whether or not  I was going to be able to be there.  I didn't want your Senior year to end like your Junior year being a third wheel with my little bro.  So, I decided to let you go.  I had every intention of cutting you off slowly while I was here distancing myself.  I never intended  to...uhm Lee you might want to check out here..."  Lee looks up and says "gross"  "grabs his earphones and plugs them in turning them up "make love to you while I was here.  I couldn't let you go.  When you hugged me when I got home all I could think about was how can I let her go.  When you kissed me I felt myself falling all over again."   He walks over to Lee and says "ok Lee it is safe"  then walks back to me"I tried so many times to will myself to push you away but I couldn't.  I kept telling myself this will be the last time I will do this I need to let her go but I couldn't.  Every time I thought I need to let  you see other guys experience your Senior year to the fullest I would get mad.  I didn't want to see you with anyone else.  Yet when we got to the airport I knew I had to.  I knew breaking up with you in a crowded airport you wouldn't be able to plead with me not do this because I knew if I saw you pleading with me I would cave.  I figured at the airport was better than a text.  Then Lee called and left that message I wanted to tell him everything but I couldn't.  I am not going to lie to you when I called you the next morning it was to tell you it was all a mistake but when I heard Tuppen's voice on your phone I was furious.  Then to have Warren send me that picture of Adam made it worse.  I know you were right I was an idiot to believe Warren.  Tuppen called me later that night and let me have it.  Reminding me that he stayed away from you because of me.  That all the guy's did.  When I called you here I was going to tell you again it was a mistake.  You wouldn't let me so I said what everyone there was telling me to say that it was too hard.  When you called me Flynn my heart shattered.  You have never called me that not even when you were just Lee's annoying best friend or my adopted lil sis.  I thought I lost all of you.  Then to have you say I could never call you Shelly again I felt completely empty.  Didn't help any with people sending me pictures of you and Adam slowly getting closer together.  I even got a picture of him giving you a rose.  Then those pictures of Tuppen's party though me over the edge.  I yelled at everyone that they had me destroy the most precious thing in my life.  You don't know what it felt like to hear Adam say that he still hadn't kissed you.  I saw it in your eyes Shells I see it now.  You are not ready and I am starting to feel whole again.  Yet, how can I compete with a guy that sits there and sings to you.  I can't and I can't pull you away from something that is making you so happy.  Tuppen told me the sparkle is back.  I am not expecting anything right now but I am letting you know I am waiting for you."