NOAH'S MISTAKE

18. DISCUSSION

When I walked in behind Noah he turned around and before I knew what was happening he pushed me against the door and started kissing me again.  I couldn't help myself I kissed him back tangling my fingers in his hair.  As he started to kiss down my neck I threw my head back and just let him have access like I knew he wanted.  Just as he was getting ready to lift me we hear "What the hell?"  We pull apart and there is Lee standing there with his hands on his hips and he looks pissed.  I let my head fall against Noah's chest and say "ah hell."  Noah looks at Lee "just go, bro, please."  "No, I will not.  You two are not back together last I checked and this does not need to be happening until she gets her head on straight.  Before you start with the whole I have to accept you two together I am doing this for you bro as much as for her.  What if she decides she wants to move on how will that make you feel."  We disentangle ourselves and I look up at Noah and say "he is right I shouldn't have let it happen I am sorry."  "No, don't Shelly I know you are not ready to be exclusive yet after what I did.  I shouldn't have done it.  Just after seeing that asshat trying to use you and that kiss outside I couldn't help myself."  He turned and walked away.  I glared at Lee and he said: "up to my room now we need to talk."

After closing the door behind us Lee spins around and starts in.  "Damn it twin, you are not starting a new relationship with him the same way you did this last time.  Plus, if you are not ready to tell him you will not be dating and he is not ready to say he will talk to you about decisions on your relationship doing that shit you all just did is wrong on both your parts."  "I know Lee it is just that when he touches me it is like I am coming home."  "Then maybe you two need to talk about where you both really want this to go."  "I guess your right."  "So, that asshat only asked you out because of Noah."  "Yeah, I don't know what I am going to do.  I feel like an idiot."  "Hey, don't start that.  You are a great girl.  It is not your fault some moron thought to use you.  Little did he know you always have me to have your back."  We laughed so hard Lee fell off the bed and I was rolling when he hit the floor.  All of a sudden there was a knock on the door and we hear "Are you two ok"  We cracked up laughing even more.  I got up and walked over to the door wearing my pajamas since I changed while Lee was ranting in his bathroom.  As I open the door I hear Lee say "remember rule #2 twin."  I giggle and turn to Noah and say "yeah, we are ok.  Just Lee being Lee."  He smiled and I could tell the smile never reached his eyes.  "ok just be careful."  I touch his arm and say hang on we really need to talk.  I watch him run his hands through his hair and then he just nods.  I turn to Lee and he waves me off as I head out the door to Noah's room.

I hadn't been in here since we broke up and I went and sat on the end of his bed.  He grabbed his desk chair an moved over to me taking a seat.  I take a deep breath "Look, part of my problem with us is that you made a decision that affected both of us and didn't talk to me about it.  You made feel as if my feelings and thoughts didn't matter."  He grabbed my hands and pulled them to him "I know it was wrong of me to do that to you without talking to you about what was going on.  The thing is with Tuppen and Duncan telling me how at parties you were always alone because Lee was busy with Rachel I started to doubt making you wait for me."  "Noah that is not how I saw it."  "I know that now.  It also didn't help to see the proof in the pictures people posted.  I really did and still do want you to enjoy your senior year."  "How can I when the man I love didn't trust me enough to have an adult conversation with and left me standing there not able to find out why."  I hung my head.  He reaches out and lifts my chin.  "Something I have regretted every single day since I happened."  "So, one of the things I need from you  is to promise me that from now on any decisions made about us we make together."  "Yes, Shelly anything you want."  He started chuckling and I stood up to go.  "this is not funny Noah."  "No, Shelly Baby don't go let me explain."  "fine, I am listening."  He hung his head and I could tell that he was getting embarrassed since his face was turning red.  This time I reached out while sitting back down where I had been sitting before and lift his face to mine.  "What is it Noah please tell me?  I really am going crazy here thinking your laughing at me."  "Nope, that is not it."  He sighs takes a deep breath and says.  "I mean it I will do anything even where that stupid skirt and jersey get up you made Tuppen wear to get your number."  I couldn't help but giggle and say "There is no need for that you already have my number."