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clarke and you had been separated for six years because of praimfaya, and every single day you've regretted leaving her behind. now you were back down, clarke was very much alive and you didn't know what to do. so much had happened back on the ring (most of it you didn't want to talk about—stuff that involved murphy) and now that you were down here, you c push to wrap your mind around the fact that clarke was here.
but things weren't as easy as just finding out your girlfriend was actually alive. not only did she have a young girl to take care of now, but you moved on. well you tried to on the ring. murphy was the one to help. but you couldn't keep it a secret from her now, even if you had needed it in the moment.
"clarke," you got her attention by gently squeezing her arm. she turned around with the biggest, most beautiful smile in the world and your heart almost faltered. you missed that smile everyday and now look where you guys were.
"i need to talk to you." you said seriously, wanting to get this over with. you weren't sure what she was going to say, or if she would even understand. you would have to make her understand though, if you wanted to be with her like you were before praimfaya.
"what's wrong? are you okay?" she already sounded concerned. that was clarke though. she jumped to conclusions sometimes and got overly worried and protective, but you loved all of that.
"i'm-i'm fine. i'm okay," you stared drop into her eyes. they didn't look the way they used to. you could remember how they looked when you guys were younger, and new to earth. this new version of clarke stood behind her eyes and you almost didn't recognize the girl you once loved.
"i just-i-" you choked on the words that you so desperately needed to say, but they wouldn't come. you shook your head, looking down to the sand under your feet feeling defeated by yourself.
"i slept with murphy." you said it quickly, like ripping off a bandaid. you didn't know why you needed to do this now. especially like this. but it was eating at you since you saw clarke.
"what?" she looked at you puzzled, her lips parted and brows pushed together in confusion.
"i thought you were dead i-i had no one else and he was there and him and emori already-" you stopped when you saw a few tears escape her closed eyelids.
"i'm sorry..." you finished, feeling ashamed of what you did. she shook her head at you. she backed away from you a bit, her eyes opening and her lips parting.
"it's fine. like you said, you thought I was dead." she turned around after that, heading back over to everyone else. six years of grieving the person you loved, then to find out they were alive and yet this was how it ended. if you could go back and change how things happened you would. but that's the thing, you couldn't.
[A/N] idk wtf this is but🤷🏻♀️🤷🏻♀️
this is NOT part 2 of goodbye, btw AND THANM YOU FOR 74k💕💞 I was only at 71k a few days ago ily all sm🤧
