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you paced around lexa's room, your hands clammy and your stomach doing flips at just the thought at what you had heard. you hated hearing what you did, maybe even assuming what you were, but it made sense. at least in your eyes it did. so when lexa wandered through the large door, the tiniest of smiles appearing, your heart seemed to drop.
"i didn't know you were in here."
lexa spoke softly. almost too softly for your liking. she knew how much you loved it and always used that voice when speaking to you. it seemed to calm you down, but this time nothing worked.
"is it true?"
you asked in a whisper, your eyes glossy as you eyed lexa down. her war paint still surrounded her warm green eyes and she was still dressed in all of her commander gear. lexa sighed and stepped towards you, going to reach for your hands but you flinched away. this had happened before. you assumed something was going on between her and costia, but this clarke girl was different. and you hated every second that lexa spent with her.
"you and clarke? have you guys been..."
you trailed your sentence off, only hearing a sigh come from lexa. you knew you shouldn't have taken it as anything else than what it was, but you still did.
"did you really think i wouldn't find out?"
you huffed, your sadness now turning into anger, the pit in your stomach boiling with hate. you loved lexa, you put everything into your relationship. you tried being the best girlfriend for you, but that was now all thrown away.
"Y/N, Clarke and i are strictly just leaders helping each other out. i have no feelings whatsoever for her, you are the only one that i want and-"
"lexa, enough with the bullshit,"
you snapped, with way more venom in your tone than intended. you cleared your throat and started heading forte door to leave. you hand lingering over the knob, you glanced back at lexa. she actually looked broken. and that was something you almost never saw, but you were still hurt.
"we're over lexa, i can't do this anymore."
« « « » » »
two months later
lexa slouched back into her throne, not caring about not looking like a 'proper heda.' she didn't care much about anything at this point. the last two months had been hell without you, and everyone took notice. it was hard for lexa to see you ignore her whenever you could, duck away whenever she was cling your way and just straight up send her death glares all day.
she had dealt with it all. but it was getting tiring without you and she was falling apart. you truly believed that clarke and her had something going on but lexa only had eyes on you. ever since the start. so to feel her heart crush every time you looked her way, with sadness and anger, she felt like just giving up. a little bit more. day after day.
"heda,"
indra had startled lexa, bringing her back to her harsh reality.
"Y/N has arrived, would you still like her to come in?"
lexa nodded slowly and waited for you to walk in. but she wasn't prepared for all her emotions to hit her like a train when you did.
your eyes narrowed at her, with your brow raised quite a bit and your arms against your chest. you were beautiful. that's all lexa thought. but you weren't hers anymore, and that only started the countless emotions to come flooding back.
"leave us."
lexa demanded quietly to the guards and indra. indra had hesitated but soon followed the others out, shutting the large doors on the way.
"Y/N-"
"lexa, save it. please."
lexa listened to you for a second, staying quiet as the warm atmosphere soon started to turn cold and awkward. lexa was a great heda, but was horrible with feelings and showing how she really felt and what she meant. so she hoped and prayed that she could find something to say in the matter of minutes.
"Y/N, we need to talk."
lexa had stood from her seat and was only a few feet from you. her voice was soft and quiet, she was a fraud she might scare you off.
"there's nothing to-"
"i didn't do anything."
lexa blurted out, not being able to control her mouth or mind. all she could think about was you and how terrible these last two months were. she wasn't her without you.
"i could never possibly hurt you in that way. wherever you heard the fake news from, or what you assumed, it's not real."
lexa took a hesitant step towards you, her eyes staring deeply into yours as she spoke.
"i need you, Y/N. more than you'll ever know. and i would like to ask if you'll take me back?"
she was on the verge of tears. but how? she was lexa. you knew her all too well, you knew that it took lots for her to cry. you thought about it again, and maybe your lingering thoughts from two months ago were right. maybe your assumptions were nothing.
"please, i need you."
one single tear rolled down her cheek and you realized that none of it could have been true. and even if it was, you were too in love with lexa for any of it to get in the way. you wanted nothing more to spend the rest of your life with her. even f that wasn't a long time at all.
you quickly closed the gap between the two of you and engulfed her in a kiss. you missed the taste and feeling of her lips on yours. it had only been two months but hell, it could have been two days and it still would feel like an eternity since you could feel it again.
"i love you Y/N."
"i love you too."
[A/N] requested by @alexamaiven hope you enjoy :)
oN a side note, this is long asf and i took a break from studying to finish this. and i'll be getting to the other requests soon, i just need to finish some shit up
