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six years ago the love of your life left you. you hoped she would come back to you, come climbing down that ladder with raven, murphy and the others. but each and every day, even though praimfaya took the earth as it's own, you waited for her by the bunker opening, abby had even said she thought she heard clarke about a month later. but, every day for six years you sat in the bunker under the ground, praying they were all safe. her most of all.
now there you stood, in a tent outside of where polis once stood many years ago, clarke sat on a small cot behind you. so much had changed the both of you. you grieved her possible death for a long time, trying to overcome it. then there was the dark year, and attempting to help abby through her addiction. although she seemed like a lost cause at this point.
you turned to the blonde, your lips in a straight line as you watched her carefully. so much had already happened within the hours you were out of polis. and learning about madi was the biggest shock of all of it.
"you never came back," you whispered, arms crossed against your chest. you furrowed your eyebrows and took a breath in. none of this seemed real. it still all seemed like make belief. only a few weeks ago you thought you were going to be stuck under the ground for the rest of your life.
"i wanted to." clarke's voice was no higher than yours. you could hear the pain in her voice as she spoke. she clamped her hands together, trying to focus on the movement of them rather than you.
sighing, you ran a hand down your face, stepping towards her and leaning down. she immediately caught your eyes and couldn't help but smile. she had missed you over the six years, and madi had heard every last story of the 'clumsiest girl' she knew.
you reached for her bawled up fists, placing your hands on top of them as you stared at them. you hadn't felt her in years, seen her smile the way she did, or heard her say the words you had been begging to hear once more over the past years.
"i wish i could have been with you, at least." you admitted, looking up to see her blue eyes that once use to be so bright and filled with joy were now hard and cold. her lip quivered slightly as she tried smiling, removing her hand from yours and placing it against your cheek. she pushed a strand of hair out of your face and smiled.
"you wouldn't have been able to though. i was lucky the nightblood worked." She reminded you with a slight chuckle. you shook your head in all seriousness, looking to the ground for a moment before meeting her gaze again.
"nightblood or not. i didn't want to spend six years alone. without the girl who i'm in love with." you explained. her face softened instantly, her eyes shutting for a second. when they opened again, she leant down to where you were crouched and connected her lips to yours.
it was like any other kiss you guys had shared together before, in all honesty, but due to the amount of time you guys were away from each other, it felt like magic. her hand tangled in your hair as she moved you up and between her legs. a small moan escaped your mouth when she bit down on your bottom lip, not hard enough to hurt, but to tease you.
you slithered your hands around her neck, loving her new haircut she gave herself. clarke broke away first, her eyes glistening as she watched you. "y-y/n." she couldn't find the words to say.
"i wanted you to be with us." you told her, your hands shifting to her checks. you ran your thumbs over her high cheeks bones where tears made their way down. "but i guess if you were, you wouldn't have madi. and she seems like a pretty cool kid."
you smiled like you always use to. like before everything went wrong. before everyone came down from the ark, before Mt. weather, before the grounders. it felt good. clarke hummed happily, not taking her eyes off you.
"she is. i've told her every story about you. i always told her about the girl i loved, who was waiting for my underground. who i left behind." her gaze fell to the floor, her sentence trailing off. your chest tightened, hating the way her voice was sounding. you lifted her chin up, just staring at her for a second. she was as beautiful as the day you met her.
"you had no choice. it sucks. it always will. but, for what it's all worth, these last six years can suck it 'cause being here right now, with you clarke, it's all I could have asked for." tears started streaming down clarke's face as you finished. you pulled her close into your chest, rubbing your hand up and down her back. you rested your head on hers, gently kissing the top of her head.
"i love you y/n." clarke finally managed to say. your heart swelled with joy, you stomach fluttering with an overwhelming happiness that you almost couldn't describe. this was real. she was alive. and you guys were together again.
"i love you too, clarke."
[A/N] i've been reading a book on here called 'confessions from a homophobe' for like an hour and a half now and my head hurts sm omg, smh, homophobes these days🤦🏻♀️
also here's the part 2 you guys all wanted. i hope you like it and i just reached 90k ty all sm!!
