Scattered and Broken, Book 3 of Wingless Series

Savior suicidal

When I thought about myself I thought that I was sort of plain, I had no bad habits. I wasn't good at anything. I never liked sports; there just wasn't much about me that ever stood out. I never knew what it was that I held that was special, everyone had something. Gray had his smarts and athletic abilities. My sister Hannah was a very charming and a creative homemaker. Sure, it wasn't the greatest trait but it was a trait. Marcus was the all around nature boy; he would have survived in any outdoor environment. He loved camping, and he loved hiking. Me the most I did of that was hanging out among the trees drinking.

I wondered if my parents thought I was odd. Maybe that was what all the pushing had been for. When you look at your child, you don't wish for nothing, there's always a dream or a goal you see for them. They wanted me to be perfect, successful. They wanted to see me marry a handsome, respectable man, pop out a bunch of kids, and juggle a career and my motherly duties. They wanted me to shove all my dreams to the back and just accept the ones that I didn't want, but the ones that still made me look perfect.

I remember my Mother always pushing me to try to be the most popular; she wanted me to be the cheerleader and the homecoming queen. I remembered how much she panicked when she saw me pulling away from all that.

One time she jumped in my face, screaming at the top of her lungs, her anger to me out of control and so irrational. I sat with my arms crossed taking it all in, holding on to each word that she let out. She told me that I was a waste of beauty that if I wasn't going to use it I didn't deserve to be envied by so many. She said she wished I were like her friends daughters who knew how to handle their looks.

Sure, I cried, and I came to care less and less of my looks. I knew no matter what I did my looks would not go away, and she would always despise me. It became apparent that everyone knew that it bugged her, and whenever I was fawned over, everyone did their best to ignore them because to them it was easier to ignore then to deal with another rampage from my Mother.

The first boy I had feelings for was a joke to all them; they simply saw him as a boy interested in nothing more than using me as arm candy. My Mother saw me as his prop, and always pointed it out that he could not care about me. She said he only saw my face and my looks, she couldn't believe he saw me for my feelings or personality. I never knew if he did care because I shut down and decided that I didn't need anyone to make me feel better. I could do that on my own, and it worked all the way, up until Evan showed up. But with Evan, it was easy to move past so much because I knew he was dealing with his own issues and he wasn't trying to use me for a gain.

Kenny turned into the same kind of person I tried to stay away from my whole life. He wanted to use me for his gain; he was what my Mother always spoke of, someone who saw me for no more than a way to help him or herself. It made me angry, and as we pulled closer to Erie Ridge, I knew it was the final moments before I would have no choice in what happened.

I slowly and carefully brought my hand close to the cell; letting out a sigh, I hit the talk button. From there I knew I could hit missed calls and find Evan's number. I carefully glanced down barely acting as if anything was happening. Keeping my body steady as we bounded down the road all lights green, I hit the button knowing Evan was being called now, I was sure I could relay some sort of message to him.

"Kenny when we get to Erie Ridge, to see Carlo you're not going to hurt him are you or me?" I asked loudly directing my voice toward the phone.

"I told you already." He said not giving me anymore.

"We are almost there aren't you scared. Erie Ridge is gated what if they know something is wrong?" I said again hoping Evan would be hearing all my words and taking off the second he made sense of it all.