When worlds Colide

Chapter 21

I gave a hug to my dad and brothers before we boarded onto the plane that'd be taking us to San Fransisco. Cameras flashed and clicked all around me as Steven came up to me. We waved to the cameras and got on the plane. Tony followed and sat behind me. Steven was on his phone texting someone. I had an idea of who I thought it was, but I wasn't going to think negatively. His brightness was turned all the way down and that alone my my stomach turn. He put his phone in his pocket then kissed my neck. I smiled at him slightly as I watched him put his headphones in to watch a movie. I was so tired from the past week that I'd barely gotten any sleep. I laid my head on Steven's shoulder and he immediately raised me up. "Sit up, Jazzmine! You're not that tired! If anything I should be the one begging for sleep!" I stared at him, but didn't say anything. Instead, I took out my neck pillow and rested my eyes. My heart was broken but I dreamed of a happy relationship and family. Kids! A boy and a girl! If only it were real. We arrived in San Francisco around 10:00 that night and went to get our bags. I pointed to my bag and Steven looked at it. It rolled around once more after he told me to get it. Tony stepped up and got it for me. I quietly thanked him and followed Steven to our rental car. I couldn't get Steven's "girlfriend" off of my mind! She was always in my mind and I hated seeming jealous or insecure, but I was. Steven made me that way. The worst part about the whole situation was that I couldn't leave him. I had no education, no money, no job; it wouldn't work out in my favor to leave. Maybe I just wasn't enough for him. I had scars all over my body and I had to wear tons of makeup to cover them. Tony obviously sensed my sadness and gave me a hug. I cried into his shoulder and he rubbed my back only saying, "I know, I know". But he didn't know! No one did! I couldn't even explain how I was feeling so I definitely knew they didn't understand. The tabloids had already ran stories of an affair and the mystery woman, who wasn't so mysterious. Her name was Sasha Stewart. She was from Texas, used to be a stripper, and had been divorced before. I really hated myself for getting involved in a relationship with Steven. Everyday I regretted it; not listening to my brothers or dad. I was convinced I'd have to kill Steven to get away from him. To be completely honest, the thought had crossed my mind, but I'd go to jail and I just want to get away from him. The only reason I didn't go to jail for killing the other man was because he worked for Steven. Steven's loud ringing phone scared me from my thoughts and back into reality. "Sasha, hey girl", he stated in a very flirtatious way. I tensed up and felt light headed hearing that. Tony looked at me and I looked away. It was honestly so embarrassing that he knew I was getting cheated on. I wish I could keep it to myself and get through it alone. "You're here? I might come give you and your little friend a visit..... I know she misses me, I haven't been in it in forever. Tell those twins on your chest I said get ready too!" He chucked. I hit him in the back of the head with all my strength as tears fell from my eyes. "I'll call you right back!" He turned around and faced me. I looked up at him angry and hurt! "Fuck You Steven! I hate you!". I slapped him again. By that time Tony rushed over to lift me up. "No! I hate him! He hurt me! I want him to fucking die!". I was literally sobbing and fell to my knees. "Why won't you love me? If I can't leave, why can't you love me! I need love in my life right now and you don't even care!" I was sobbing and knew I looked a mess. I didn't care though. My heart was broken, and nothing or any one could fix it. I was done! "Don't go to her! Please, just stay with me!". He bent down on my level, cupped my face and kissed Me. Now I know what you're thinking: you're going out sad over a damn kiss?! But you don't understand! I needed that kiss, even if he didn't love me, it felt like he did. He had a way of making me feel like I was important. I wanted to feel like that all the time. I needed to feel loved by anyone, especially him. I loved him, I just wanted the same feeling back. My eyes fluttered back open, he stood up, and announced he'd meet us at the hotel. "No Steven, please don't go to her! I can give you what you want, please!" I chased after him and grabbed his jacket. Tony tried yanking me off of him, but I wouldn't let go. I wanted to wipe my tears away but I didn't want him to go to her. I couldn't grip on to him any longer and let him go. At the end of the hall, right next to the Starbucks, I saw her. She was of course wearing a small dress that was extra tight. "No", I whispered to myself. He was gone. I don't even know the next time I'd see him since she was here with us. Tony helped me up and we walked to the limo in silence. Steven couldn't do anything else to me. I was already broken to the max. No matter what he did, nothing could compare to him embarrassing me how he just did; good or bad. I slid to the seat by the door and looked out of the window. It was a thirty minute drive to the hotel, and I was all alone. Tony decided to sit in the front which was probably better for me. I wiped away the tears and sat in silence. I was embarrassed and hurt that he'd allow me to act like that in public! He humiliated me in front of everyone. I guess his company wasn't on his mind..... the company! I grabbed my carry on and  pulled out my computer. I logged into Newell Tech, and sure enough there was a 3% decrease in sales for the past week. "Fuck!". I knew what that meant. When he found out, he'd cancel his gym membership and I'd become his personal punching bag. It was because of me and my meltdowns. Those people didn't understand what He was doing to me! He was hurting me! No one would understand it, and I wouldn't be able to make them. The car stopped, the door opened, and I ran over to Tony. "Tony! You have to protect me tonight! I know we got you your own room, but the company sales went down....". "Shit! Really?" He ran his hands through his hair. Every time the sales went down, I was abused. Worse than normal. He didn't stop, the punches weren't light, and I'd always end up with a black eye. Tony wouldn't be able to help. Steven would lock the door and then he'd start. It wasn't my fault; that's what he'd tell me. He would just be "releasing anger". I don't know why he'd hurt me intentionally if he "loved me", but I couldn't do anything, I couldn't go anywhere! I had no money, no job, no place to stay. I knew it was a terrible situation to be in, and I wouldn't wish this on anyone, but I couldn't leave. I couldn't divorce him or anything! He'd always be there, no matter what. I nodded. "Please. When I'm in the bathroom, guard the door, and stay up with me until I fall asleep, or we can't go to sleep at the same time! Please? Just for tonight". He gave me a hug and nodded. I thanked him and stayed close to him. I really appreciated Tony. He respected me, protected me, and always went the extra mile to make sure that I was safe and okay. I don't know what I'd do without him. We made it up to the room and I went straight to the shower. "Guard the door, please?". He nodded and grabbed his phone. I stepped into the shower and let the water hit my body. I ran water through my hair and felt so relaxed. I don't even know why. I heard the door open, and I immediately tensed up and shed some tears. "Steven, no" I whispered. "Jazz?". It was Tony! He moved the shower curtain and I covered my breasts. "Tony! What the fuck are you doing?! You're supposed to be guarding the door!". Without wasting another second, he moved my hands and kissed me! I wasn't upset or mad, nor did I feel violated. "Can I join you?" He asked. I nodded and he kissed me passionately once more. I liked it, and I wanted more. I took his shirt off and unbuckled his jeans as he stepped in the shower with me. The water was hot and steamy and I instantly ran my hands through his hair. He lifted me up and slid it in slowly. I moaned softly and he started kissing and sucking on my neck softly. I hadn't felt loved in forever! I was feeling good and I didn't want him to stop. The strokes got deeper and faster and I leaned my head back in pleasure, and let moans escape my lips. I then began to think of how I was no better than Steven. I was cheating on him! Even though he was cheating on me, I shouldn't have been cheating on him. "Tony" I whispered to him. He put me down and traced my breasts. "I love you, Jazzmine". I looked up at him speechless. Where did those feelings come from? To me, it was just sex! It didn't mean anything to me. He didn't really love me, no one did. I've been told that so many times, hell, I've even said it. The difference is that when I say it, I mean it. "No you don't" I rubbed his chest. "-you love my body, not me". I told him to be quiet while I turned the water off, just in case Steven came. "I've loved you forever! Since I got this job. I know it's hard to believe, but-". I cut him off and told him, "You don't love me! I've heard that a billion times! Everyone is all the same; especially when it comes to me! I haven't been showed love since my mom died, I don't want to hear that you love me, if you really do, you'll show me". That wasn't too harsh, it was the truth, but I still apologized while we watched Maid in Manhattan. He told me he understood and that I didn't need to apologize. Of course we talked about us having sex. He apologized, and then ironically I told him that he didn't have to apologize, but we could never speak of it. Steven still wasn't here, and yet I wasn't sad, nor did I care. I was just fine and felt content and happy in life for a short amount of time. My eyes fell heavy, and soon I couldn't bear to stay up anymore.
The Next Day
My ringtone echoed through the room. I slowly got up groaning to answer my phone. I looked over to see an empty bed. He stayed with Sasha last night. My dad called me. "Hey dad.... how are you?" I asked looking at the clock. 7:00 am. He proceeded to tell me that he was fine and that he was just calling to check up on me, which I knew was a lie. I knew he didn't care about me, or my well being. He never checked on me. Ryan and Adrian didn't even check on me. I was alone basically. I lied and told him I was fine even though I wasn't. I was still hurting but it kind of just hurt less than before. I was somewhat used to it, which was terrible, because it shouldn't have been happening. "I saw Sasha and Steven on tv last night" he started. I rolled my eyes and laid back down. "Yep" I stated dryly. "-what's up with that?" I stayed silent for a minute before I answered him. "He doesn't want me, dad. He found someone who could give him what he wanted and look good doing it. She doesn't have to wear makeup to conceal bruises and black eyes like I do. She's down to give him sex whenever he wants it, unlike me. I can give Steven love and a child if he wanted it, but...." I covered my mouth so he wouldn't hear me cry. A tear rolled down my cheek and fell to the floor. "-a man has to want to be with the woman more than the woman wants to be with the man.. that's how relationships last. He doesn't want to be with me, and he's made it very clear" I stated melancholic staring at the scars on my body. How lucky she was that she didn't have to deal with this. "Can you make him like you again? We're a little low on funds" he explained. My heart skipped a beat after I heard that. He hadn't heard anything I had just said! I couldn't control Steven. It was no other explanation but the fact that he didn't like me. I don't even know if he still loved me. "Umm, yea dad sure... I'll see what I can do". He breathed a sigh of relief, thanked me, and told me he'd talk to me later. I didn't even cry. I stood there with my phone in my hand and didn't say a word. My family was more worried about the money than my wellbeing. It was so embarrassing seeing Steven and Sasha on tv together! Everyone was asking where I was and how I felt about it. I didn't want to go out there; in public where I could be judged. Tony came in the room and asked if I was okay. I nodded still not saying anything, while last night flashed back into my head. I smiled slightly and gave him a hug. "Steven called me" he whispered while rubbing up and down my back. I tensed up very quickly. I thought about how the company's sales percentage went down, and how he was with Sasha cheating on me. My breathing got harder. I felt like I was having an anxiety attack. "-calm down, Jazz. I won't let him hurt you, I promise". I believed him. He'd never let Steven hurt me before, and after last night, I would hope he'd keep his promise. "What.... what did he say?" I asked. "He's gonna meet us at the beach in an hour so I need you to get ready, okay". I nodded and gave him a kiss. He kissed me back harder and passionately. "I want you, Tony", I moaned softly. He began undressing me slowly; I let him. He picked me up, and laid me on the bed softly, as he slowly kissed my neck, causing soft moans to escape my lips, and tingles to run throughout my whole body. He caressed my breasts slowly as he slowly went inside of me. He concentrated on all the features of my body, analyzing every one; all while never breaking eye contact. His hands roamed my chest and stomach and I let small moans escape from my lips. He went slow and deep, but he was gentle. I'd never made love like this; to anyone, ever. The way I was feeling right now felt better than anything I'd ever felt. We weren't fucking how Steven usually does things. I liked slow. I wanted slow all the time. I opened my eyes to see him still looking at me in awe. He pulled out and laid next to me. "Something on your mind?" He asked me with a furrowed eyebrow. A lot was on my mind, I just didn't know how to word my thoughts. "Was it that obvious?" I asked softly. He nodded but didn't press the issue. I laid my head on his chest and he held me. At that moment I wished that I could freeze time and stay frozen in that moment.