Chapter 47

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It had been three months since the fallout of Roman and Lena. Neither of the two hadn't talked to each other since. Roman had gone back into his alone routine and Lena ignored everyone's calls and texts. After the breakup Lena moved out to California and stayed with Madison and Joe. She had been helping Madison with her pregnancy while Joe was on the road. She had kept out of the public's eye and off of social media. Shortly after the break up the news of Romans relationship and pregnancy spread around like wild fire. Lena had only talked to Madison,Joe, John,Nicole,Brie and Bryan. Brie had heard about the news and immediately reached out to Lena. She couldn't imagine losing a child. As soon as Lena flew out to California John immediately came and visited her. Him and Nicole were getting better with their relationship so Lena of course saw Nicole whenever she was with John. Her bond had got closer with the twins and had helped her a lot the past three months.

It was Saturday morning and Lena was running around Madison's house busy as hell. Today was the day of Madison's baby shower and Lena wanted to make sure it was perfect. She had sent Brie out to keep Madison busy while she and Nicole finished setting up the house. John and Joe were on cake duty and were sent out to pick up the cake from the bakery. Bryan was on birdie duty so he went out and kept Birdie occupied while everything was getting set up.

"Hey. Hey. I said flowers outside. Not inside. Jesus." Lena frantically yelled at the floral delivery guys.

"Lena. Hey earth to Lena. Look at me girl, everything is going to be perfect okay. You need to take a deep breath and calm down. Also maybe have a glass of champagne girl." Nikki said to Lena while handing her a glass of champagne.

Lena accepted it and quickly downed the drink. She then proceeded to go yell at the delivery guys who were misplacing the flower wall. Nikki just chuckled at the woman. She knew Lena would calm down as soon as Madison saw the place. She just wanted to make sure everything was perfect. What Nikki didn't know is that Lena was breaking on the inside. All the baby shower planning had brought up the painful memories of Lena losing her baby. She kept hidden because she always promised Madison that she would plan her baby shower. She wasn't going to let her emotions get in the way of that. About two hours later and four more cups of champagne Lena was feeling calmed down and the house was finished. She just stood and felt proud of her work.

 "Okay so John just texted me and said they are on the way with the cake and rest of the balloons

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"Okay so John just texted me and said they are on the way with the cake and rest of the balloons. You missy need to go freshen up and finished getting dressed. Guests will be here soon and so will Brie and Madison. I can finish the last minute things. Now go." Nikki said pushing Lena towards her room.

"Fine. Fine. I'm going, no need to push. I'll be real quick."

Lena had gone to her room and looked in the mirror. "Okay maybe I won't be real quick." Lena said to herself after seeing how much of a mess she was. Lena had taken a shower and finished with her hair and put on her outfit. She was getting ready to do her makeup when she heard a knock on her door.

"Hey Lena. You decent? Is it okay for me to come in?"

"Yeah you can come on in Bryan." She shouted from the bathroom.

Bryan walked in and placed Birdie on Lena's bed and sat next to her. Birdie began playing with pillows on the bed and Bryan just sat waiting for Lena to come out.

"Hey Bryan. Is that bir bir I see?" She asked in a baby voice while ticking Birdie. She giggled her cute laugh and held on to Lena's fingers.
"So what's up?" Lena asked Bryan still focused on Birdie.

"Nothing much. We just came back from a daddy daughter date. Thought I would come up here and check up on you. Nikki said you were pretty intense this morning."

"Oh well I'm all good now. Just wanted to make sure everything turned out perfectly." Lena said while walking to her makeup vanity.
"Is that all you needed?" She asked.

"Uh yeah but also I wanted to see how you really are doing. I know baby shower planning can be stressful and can be even more stressful especially with everything that happened with you so I wanted to know how your actually feeling and don't give me the I'm fine crap. Cause I know you aren't and it's okay. You don't think anyone notices but I see whenever someone ever offers for you to hold Birdie you somehow manage to get away from it. You'll play with her but you refuse to hold her and I know it's because you can't deal with the memories. So no bullshit, how are you really doing about this whole baby shower stuff?" Brian asked while bouncing Birdie on his legs.

Lena hadn't turned to face Bryan the whole time he was talking. The whole time he was talking all of Lena's feelings reached the surface. She silently let the tears fall down her face and sniffed her nose. She finally turned around with tears on her face.

"I could be a lot better to be honest." She chuckled out. "It's just hard you know with all this baby stuff and all of my memories. It's been really hard but I didn't want Madison to feel bad so I didn't say anything. I want to hold Birdie so much. I love her to death but I know I'm just not ready yet. Ugh I'm sore being a crying mess. This is supposed to be a happy day not a depressing day." Lena said wiping her tears and pulling herself together.

Bryan put Birdie back on the bed and got up making his way towards Lena. She got up and Bryan pulled her into a hug. He began rubbing her back to soothe her.

"It's okay to not be okay. I understand you need time you don't have to apologize for that. You should talk to someone though. Holding all these feelings aren't good for you." He whispered into her ear. She nodded and pulled away.

"Well thank you for this but I should probably finished getting ready. I'll see you guys downstairs in a few." Lena said to Bryan with a half smile. Bryan hugged her again and took Birdie to go change her real quick before guests arrived.

Lena went back to her vanity and finished he ready. She covered up her blotchiness and puffy eyes then switched her outfit again. She stood in front of the mirror and nodded approvingly of her outfit. She picked something out casual but still a little dressy. She took a picture and for the first time in three months posted on Instagram captioning the photo-

 She took a picture and for the first time in three months posted on Instagram captioning the photo-

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Baby shower time 🌸

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