Jeon Jeongguk refuses to be treated differently just because of his blue hair color so he makes sure to dye it black as often as possible. Although fate seems to be against him hiding his identity he'll do anything to just live a normal life, even i...
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"Ah Jeongguk!" Mr. Yun said as he caused the boy to stop and turn around. "Can you return these books for me at the library?"
"Sir, I'll be late to your class if I do."
"We're just having a study period and you have quite high grades so you will be fine to miss a couple of minutes." He said as he began to hand the books to the younger. After doing that he immediately hurried past to go towards his classroom. "Thank you for your help!"
Jeongguk sighed as he turned around going to head to the library. He knew it was in an entirely different building and he didn't want to get stuck having to go there and back. He already was feeling exhausted at how often he had to work and having to watch out for the protagonists.
Granted none of them had attempted to talk to him since he had told Yoongi, Hoseok, and Namjoon to leave him alone but he still was cautious. They still came to the cafe occasionally, and would just seem to watch him, and at school their gazes seemed to linger on him as well. In response Jeongguk would always glare at them and try to get as far away as possible.
Of course he always felt terrible after acting that way towards them but what else was he supposed to do? He couldn't allow his life to get flipped upside down just because of some kind protagonists. He had worked hard enough to keep up his facade to let him live a normal life and he wasn't about to throw that away.
Jeongguk still had nightmares about seeing his parents getting shot and his old foster family abusing him. He always treated those as constant reminders that he couldn't afford to slip up. He didn't want to go through things like that, he wasn't even sure he could mentally handle being treated like that again after he had finally been getting accustomed to acting like a normal character.
"I can probably sleep in class when I get back." He mumbled as he walked into the library looking around as he hadn't been in there before. He never had the time to come and check out the books here and that didn't really phase him. Personally he hated libraries thanks to their fictional books with characters from another world. People would just read them to immerse themselves in a different life and then be able to just close the book whenever they wished and go on with their normal lives. "Protagonists can't do that, they're stuck living through whatever horrible or dramatic event that fate pushes them through."
Yeah, Jeongguk definitely hated libraries.
"Oh are those books from Mr. Yun?" Jeongguk nodded at the librarian who seemed to smile at him and he couldn't help but feel at ease. He always felt calm when he was around people who seemed to have happy and radiating personalities. "Could you please put them up for me, dearie? I'm a bit busy with this work right now."
Jeongguk glanced at her screen seeing that she was watching cat videos and forced a smile. Sure he may like people who seemed nice but wanting to do their job for them since they were feeling lazy was a bit much.
Still he simply turned around not wanting to patronize the old woman. He had learned all about how libraries worked as a child in school and even was given the special idolizing treatment around the fiction section since he had yet to dye his hair black back then.
Once he had placed all the books away he turned he saw a familiar tuft of purple move in the aisle beside him. Jeongguk didn't want to follow him but something felt like he should as the man truly seemed slightly upset. So he watched through rows of books and saw him sit down beside Taehyung.
"What's up, hyung?" The orange-haired guy asked as he stared at Namjoon. "You seem upset."
"I just wanted some peace and quiet. I got tired of everyone whispering around me, it's annoying."
"Are you okay?" The other said concerned as he set down his book to get a better look at Namjoon. "I know you get hypersensitive to sound sometimes."
"I'm fine." He said smiling at the younger to stop him from worrying. "You're reading? I never thought that you'd be the type to like reading, you're always running around with Jimin."
"I mean I have to like reading. The whole point of my existence is that I'm supposed to be interesting." Namjoon sighed as he wrapped an arm around Taehyung. "I like to read about how other peoples lives are in different books, it's funny to see how people react to them or how society accepts them."
"Don't go comparing yourself to other people, Taehyung. Nothing good comes out of that."
"I can't help it, you know? There are people in these books that have gone through so much worse than me so who am I to complain? I've never gone through having to save an entire town or galaxy. I don't even know if I'm reading about real people or not. What if they're a protagonist just like me in a different world? Or maybe they're just something an author made up to create a story and don't exist at all? I don't know, and that really scares me. What if someone is reading about me right now and just decides to stop? What then? Do we only continue with our lives when people are reading about us? Do we just fade away when a reader completely forgets about whatever book we're in? Am I only able to talk to you right now since someone currently is reading about me? We've been taught our entire lives that we are special since we're main characters but what really is our purpose? Just for the entertainment of others? I don't want to exist just for the enjoyment of others, I don't want to have to think about strangers knowing every nook and cranny about my life, I don't want to be a protagonist."
Jeongguk felt like he wanted to puke. Taehyung had perfectly described how he felt and he desperately felt like he was about to start panicking. Namjoon had immediately wrapped Taehyung in a hug after he finished speaking while Jeongguk crouched on the ground and placed his hands over his ears.
He wanted it to be quiet, he didn't want to hear what else they were going to say. He knew that other protagonists must have felt the same way but hearing someone talk how stressful it was to be a main character was scary. Jeongguk knew that even though his hair was dyed he still was a main character, he couldn't change that. All he was doing was hiding his identity so society would treat him normally.
Slowly he began to pace his breathing again and moved his hands to the floor to balance and push himself into a standing position.
"We all have each other and we're getting through this together," Namjoon said to Taehyung as the younger just nodded in response. "We're always going to be there for each other, you know that."
"I know it's just, I feel incomplete?" Taehyung said mumbling as he looked at the older who seemed confused. "I don't know how to explain it and I've only been feeling like it recently. It's like I'm missing something but I don't know what it is."
Namjoon hummed in response not knowing what to say to calm the orange haired boy. He had started feeling incomplete too and had noticed that his mind often would wander around to Jeongguk. Sure he didn't seem to like him or his friends at all and he wasn't a protagonist but Namjoon still had an urge to at least talk to him.
He couldn't deny the fact that he thought the boy was really pretty too but he decided to focus on getting to talking terms with him before anything else.
Before he could hear anything else the two protagonists were saying Jeongguk quickly got up and made his way out of the library. He no longer felt exhausted like he did ten minutes ago, instead he felt nauseous thinking through what it truly meant to be a protagonist.
