lui ou lui

~Frustration~

Paul's POV

It was halfway through the day and Tanner nor Woods has showed up. I was sad about not seeing Tanner but I was also worried about the both of them. I hope Woods is alright. Nobody had said anything about their absence. Maybe they know something I don't.

I tried texting Tanner again but still received no answer. My mind kept throwing worse case scenarios at me and it became increasingly harder to fight them back. Closing my eyes, I let my thoughts drift to last night. When things were better. Me and Tanner under the stars. Us kissing. Him being so close to asking. The one question I want to hear more than anything.

Connor walked into the office, bringing me back from my daydream. As he sat down in his chair he gave me a worried glance. I probably look a mess right now. I am a mess. I tried to calm down and smiled at him.

"Hey Connor, what's up man?" Fuck. That sounded so fake. I internally facepalmed.

"Hey?" He said it like a question. After a long silence he continued, "what's wrong? You've been super out of it all day." I sighed in defeat and put my head on the desk.

"I'm just worried about Tanner and Woods," I mumbled. It wasn't a complete lie. Just not the whole truth.

"Didn't Matt talk to you? Woods is sick so Tanner called out to take care of him," Why wouldn't Matt of told me? I got frustrated all of a sudden. It's probably just me trying to project my emotions onto something else, but I just didn't get it. Why tell Connor but not me? Did Tanner ask for him to not tell me? I got a sick feeling in my stomach and left the office without saying anything.

Without fully realizing where I was going, I ended up at blue base. I took the steps two at a time. Matt's office door was closed, but I was sure he was in there. Standing in front of it, I took a deep breath, and then knocked.

"Come in!" Matt yelled from the other side.

I walked in a saw him sitting at his desk working on something. He smiled at me until he realized my expression. I probably look as mad as I feel. Don't blame him, Paul. Just ask why.

"Why didn't you tell me why Woods and Tanner weren't here?" It came out a lot more accusatory than I meant it to. I tried again, "Or, like, why'd you tell Connor and not me?" Matt sighed and looked down at his hands. When he looked back up he gestured for me to close the door and sit down.

"Look Paul...I know about the whole you and Tanner thing. And the Woods and Tanner thing." He looked me in the eyes, but I couldn't hold it.

"I- I don't know what your talking about," Good lie Paul. I'm sure he totally bought that. Matt gave me a look that very clearly said bullshit.

"I didn't say anything directly to you because I was trying to keep you focused. We're already down two people and I don't want us to fall behind. Tanner will be fine. And Woods will be okay too." Matt was so compassionate all the anger fizzled out of me. He's right.

After I said goodbye I walked over to orange base. Just wanting to be alone for a bit, I go into the GG set and close the door behind me. All of the lights were off, so it was pitch black. Thankfully, I found my way to my computer okay. I sighed and pulled out my phone.

Paul: Hey, how's Woods doing?

I stared at the message for a few minutes before finally deciding to hit send. Tanner replied soon after.

Tanner: He's doing...better. Sorry again about last night.

Paul: Don't worry about it. You just have to buy me lunch tomorrow now. You are coming tomorrow, right?

Tanner: Yeah, should be. Sounds like a deal. See you then 😘

That damn kissing emoji made me think about our kiss last night. I'd do anything to kiss him like that again. Maybe go further...I stopped before my thoughts could go on. Thoughts like that have to be pushed to the back while I'm at work.

A/N -  kind of a short chapter. Sorry bout that. I stopped and started it a bunch of different times. Normally I'll write a chapter in one sitting. More interesting things coming soon? Also, how far do you guys want this to go? Like keep it pg13 orrrrr mature?