infatuated | fillie

thirty one

fuck all the crying
it didn't mean jack
well guess what, yo
fuck you right back
——————

Millie's gaze was locked, watching her lean in felt like torture. Whatever that brunette was doing, she was walking on thin ice and Millie was about to go in and stamp on it to make sure it would break.

Her heart then dropped to her feet as Finn dodged the kiss, giving her an awkward high five in total awkward, Wolfhard fashion.

Millie found herself smiling at the boy and laughing at the girl who thought it'll be ok to go after him. They weren't together anymore but they hadn't announced anything yet, as far as she knew he was still with Millie and that's what made her blood boil.

Finn completely freaked out, he knew he looked like an idiot for fucking high fiving a girl who went in for a kiss but he didn't feel like he was ready, it was way too soon. At this point, 5 months would be too soon.

"Well, I feel so fucking embarrassed." Elle laughed, scratching her forehead with her pointer finger as she took a couple of swigs of her drink.

Finn stuttered, he was drunk and even when he was sober he really couldn't handle awkward situations.

"It's nothing to do with you, honestly. At all." Finn rambled as he threw his hands in every direction.

oh god, Millie thought, he's rambling. She saw by his flailing arms that he was in an uncomfortable situation and she couldn't help but find it somewhat amusing.

"That obviously means it's me, Finn." Elle rolled her eyes, avoiding eye contact as much as possible.

"It really doesn't."

"Okay." Elle started, "then what does it mean"

"It means that I've just gotten out of a serious relationship with a girl who I'm inevitably in love with and probably would never get over and it's too soon."

Elle immediately felt guilty, she felt like an idiot. Her mouth opened but no words would come out. Like a failed ventriloquist.

"Oh Finn." Elle shook her head. "I'm really sorry, I had no idea."

"It's fine." Finn laughed. "I didn't expect you to read my mind or anything. Now, lets get another drink."

Finn still hadn't noticed Millie, Millie hadn't even noticed she'd been watching his every move like a stalker since she got there. It was weird to her because she wanted him to notice she was there, she craved him knowing that she was near him.

She decided that what she was doing wasn't healthy. She found Sadie, the redhead immediately smiling again.

Millie was handed another shot 2 minutes later, Sadie unaware on how many Millie took prior. Sadie then poured salt on the back of Millie's hand and put a lime in her left hand. They counted down with people surrounding them, either doing the same shot or just genuinely cheering them on.

She needed to forget, she wanted to forget and she wanted the pain and the guilt and the empty feeling in her chest to just go away for a couple of minutes. It's all that she's asked for and another shot in, her wish was finally granted.