5SOS BSM Preferences

#29 Song Preference: Not About Angels by Birdy

Ashton (Age 14): "We know full well there's just time / so is it wrong to toss this life"

You had been becoming really depressed lately and hadn't wanted to do anything but stay inside and spend much of your free time thinking about death. Ashton noticed, quickly, and tried to brush it off. After a while, he knew that it was getting too bad--he'd have to confront you about it.

You were sitting on your bed, in the dark (the blinds closed and the lights off) staring into nothing thinking about death when there was knock at the door.

"Come in," You say, just loud enough for the person to hear.

Ashton opens the door, and turns on the lamp on your bedside table. He shuts the door behind him and sits on the bed next to you, "How ya feeling?" He asks.

"Fine, why?" You say turning to him.

"I know you're not," He replies.

"What do you mean?"

"It's obvious that you're depressed, Y/N. What happened? What's wrong?"

"Nothing's wrong." You lie.

"Then why do you spend your time in the dark thinking about death?" He shoots.

"We both know that this is just time. I mean, there's nothing else but time in this life. I'm not going to do anything amazing with life. Why is it so wrong to want to toss life if we're not going to do anything with it?" You say, dumping out all your thoughts you had had lately.

Ashton pulls you into a hug, "Don't say that, Y/N. There is so much you're living for. I'm going to help you through this. You're not going to spend the rest of your long-living life sitting in a dark room."

You don't answer, and just let Ashton hold you.

Luke (Age 15): "Cause what about, what about angels / They will come; they will go and make us special."

Luke was speaking at a gala for cancer patients a few weeks after your diagnosis. You had leukemia, and the doctors predicted you had two more months to live, max.

"I have a sister, her name's Y/N. And she was just diagnosed with stage four leukemia. The doctor's say she has two months, max, to live. I never thought that there'd come a day where I'd have to contemplate the fact that my sister might die." He says, making eye contact with you in the crowd, tears filling both of your eyes.

"In my eyes, I don't see Y/N as a cancer patient, I see her as an angel. She was sent here to make me feel like I belong and that there was a life living for." He continues, tears streaming down his face now, voice cracking. "To be honest, if it wasn't for Y/N, I wouldn't have taken the push to post a cover on YouTube, then leading to this band. I wouldn't have the courage to do anything that I do."

You both were crying by now. "She made me feel special, and that's something not many people can do for me. I never thought I was anything extraordinary, by any means. Apparently, in Y/N's eyes, I was the best person ever. I don't see that, at all. Because I see her being that. She has made me feel like I was worth something."

You let out a sob as your Mom pulls you into her side, "I don't want to think of life without Y/N. It's not possible. She's an angel, so even when she's physically gone--she'll always be here spiritually. Y/N's brought a fire to other's people's lives, and I know they're forever grateful to her." Luke was sobbing too now, barely understandable.

"And I never doubt, for a second, that Y/N's life wasn't worth living for. She changed many others, and her's is so important. Each human life has an undeniable worth, and Y/N's in multiplied by many. I love her so much, and I'm not saying goodbye to her. Saying goodbye means forgetting. This is more like, a... a see you later." Luke finishes.

Many people in the room were crying, and so were you and Luke. When he was able to come sit back down, you two hugged for the rest of it, crying with each other.

Calum (Age 18): "How unfair, it's just our luck / found something real that's out of touch"

"You can't go on this trip, Y/N!" Calum hears you and your mother fighting from his spot upstairs.

"Why not, Mom?!" You yell back at her.

"You know very well why not!"

"I need to go on this trip!" You say.

"You can't!"

"You're always telling me to live my life, be a normal teenager! That's what I'm trying to do here!"

"Everytime I said that was to make you feel like you could! You can't Y/N! You can't make this trip, the risk is too high!"

"It's a risk I need to take, Mom! I don't care if I die because of this trip, it's my only one opprotunity to take the world by storm!"

"You're not going to LA."

"You can't stop me!" You yell.

"Your disease-"

"There's nothing you can tell me about my disease that I don't already know, Mom! I'm taking this trip. I'm 18, I don't care if I die! There's nothing else I want to do with my life!"

"Fine! Do it! See if I care!" Your mom says one last time as you storm out of the room crying.

Calum was standing there waiting, he pulled you into a hug. "Why is life so unfair?" You sob into his chest.

He doesn't reply, just holds you.

Michael (Age 16): "But if you searched the whole wide world / would you dare to let it go?"

"You can't go, Mikey." You begged.

"I have to," He whispers.

"I could die while you're gone." You continue.

His breath hitches. He had searched the whole world for this opprotunity. The one to make his dreams with his band mates to come true. But he knew you were top priority.

Could he let his dream go? He wasn't sure for himself, he knew he'd need to take this step and let it go, be there for you, but he couldn't.

"I-I know. I'm going to be home before then, I swear. You're not going to die, I won't let that happen."

"You can't prevent death. It's inevitable." You tell him.

"So is everything else, I know you don't want me to go, I need to do this." He says.

"I know," You say quietly, "When I'm gone, you're going to need somewhere to go in life."

A stray tear runs down your face and he wipes it away, "Hey, you're not going to die just yet. I'm going to make sure you stick around for a long while. It's only a month, and if I have to, I'll come back earlier, okay?"

You sigh, and nod, "Okay. But if I die while you're gone, I'll haunt you forever."

He chuckles, "I don't doubt that for a second."

okay if you couldn't tell all tfios references in here are meant to be there bc this song is obvi from tfios soundtrack

this song is so sad but so good omg

and hey first song preference of this book wooo.