Hunger

t e n

Week 1

I stand in front of coach Harvey; my heart feels like it may explode any moment now. I want to know how much weight I lost this week. I ate almost nothing, and I did cardio every day after finding out about the gym on Tuesday. I got to be thinner.

"Step up." He says, and I sigh, hoping not to disappoint him.

I close my eyes, waiting to hear his voice, because I didn't have it in me to look down and face reality.

"139 pounds." He says, and I open my eyes quickly.

139 pounds! I think looking at the floor. I'm out of the 40s! Saying that I was happy was an understatement.

I smile at him, thinking that he would be proud, but all I see is a frown in his face.

"What?" I ask exited.

"Four pounds in seven days is a lot of weight." He replies, writing it down on the clipboard on his hand. "How exactly did you lose all this weigh?" He asks, staring at me seriously.

I frown, isn't he proud of me? "I started eating healthier and doing cardio every day." I reply, excluding the part where I basically stopped eating.

He didn't say anything, and I walked away, staring at the next girl stepping on the scale. She was so thin, almost perfect. If I looked like her, I wouldn't have so many problems in life. It's not like I want more friends, but if I was that thin, people would talk to me, or at least they would be nicer.

The ride home was silent, Christopher didn't say a word. He was going out for sure, the smell of that cologne he always wears when he was going to see a girl was suffocating me. Not to mention he was looking rather handsome in his outfit.

I open the door to get out of the car, when he finally said a word.

"Mom and dad are going away this weekend." He says rolling down the window, since I abruptly closed the door just a few seconds earlier. "They will be back on Monday."

I stare at him, wondering what I was supposed to do with this information. "So?"

"So, I'm having a girl over later." He said again, like it was the most obvious thing in the world. "After our date, she's coming with me to the house." He continued raising his brows. "Really late at night, in my room you know, alone-

"Oh." I quickly said, not wanting to hear the end of that sentence. "Okay, I guess."

"So please just stay in your room, and make sure Olivia is asleep by the time I come back." He replies coughing. "I don't want her encountering anything a girl her age shouldn't be seeing."

I look at him with disgust and nod, not wanting to encounter anything either. I was about to leave but he talked again.

"You should invite someone else too, if you want." He says with a cocky smile. "I have some friends that wouldn't mind coming-

"Stop." I say with wide eyes. "I'm not sleeping with any of your friends."

"Fine!" He says rolling his eyes. "Anyways I have to leave, if I want to be on time to my date."

"Then leave already!" I say exasperate.

"And I'm having a party tomorrow!" He yells driving away.

"What?" I whisper confuse. "No, you're not Christopher!" I shout running a few steps closer to his car, but he was long gone. "Great." I murmur turning around.

"Hey there." I hear a voice behind me, and I mentally sigh just wanting to go inside.

"Hi." I reply turning around to see Nathaniel standing just a few steps from me all sweaty.

"Nice outfit." He says staring at me from head to toe.

I was still in my black leotard and oversized jacket over. "Oh, I just got home from practice." I reply looking down at my body and suddenly feeling self-conscious.

"I didn't know you were into gymnastics." He says smiling. "Cool."

"I usually don't tell people." I reply. "So, what exactly where you doing?" I ask quickly changing the subject.

"I just went for a run." He says shrugging. "It helps clear my mind off."

After he said that, something in his face changed. He didn't look like that douchy boy he always is on school, but someone with issues of his own.

"Running does that." I say feeling a little identified.

"So," He awkwardly says, staring at the floor. "You're having a party tomorrow?"

I laugh and close my eyes. "I guess I am." I reply hating Christopher right now. "It's not my party actually but I'm pretty sure Christopher will be inviting you pretty soon."

"Well, I hope to see you there." He says with half a smile. "It's your house anyways."

"We'll see." I reply and turn around.

I lay in bed, rubbing my feet, after a long hot bath. I was initially going to bath in cold water, "to burn some calories", but after the day I had today, my muscles were dying. Coach Harvey made sure we trained today.

It was currently 12 am and I wonder if Chris was even coming home tonight, so I went downstairs to get a bottle of water. It was the fourth water of the day; I started drinking my eight cups of water a day which was the equivalent of four bottles of water, and I felt less hungry throughout the day this way.

I see the lights of Christopher's car from the window, and ran as fast as possible to my room, to avoid stumbling with them. And turned the lights of my room off too, so they wouldn't think I was awake.

I heard their steps in the hallway and his door closing quickly afterwards. At first it was quiet, but after a few minutes I heard them, especially his bed, but it wasn't until I heard him moan that I grabbed my headphones and played some music as loud as possible to drown the noise of both.

I was going to watch some thinspo before going to sleep, but I knew the wise choice was to fall asleep and ignore what was happening just a few steps from my bed.