Guillotine - a Klance fanfic

Sleep On Me

It was late in the nighttime cycle in the castle, meaning that all of team Voltron (even Pidge whom Shiro had to carry back to her room), have crashed by now. All of them except the blue paladin. Lance was tossing and turning in bed, most nights he'll have a nightmare consisting of three themes, on this particular night all three were mixed into one jumbo, mega, ultra, super horrific nightmare. Tears were running down his face and he had long since clamped one of his tanned hands over his mouth to keep in the depressing noises he was making. As he thought about the nightmare again, a fresh wave of tears burned his eyes. He tried but failed to blink them away as his entire body shook from the mental exertion it was costing him to not let out a sob.

Lance knew that he wasn't depressed, he just severely missed home, more than he would like to admit, he knew that he wasn't sad enough to hurt himself, but sometimes everything just felt like too much and he had to get away from it. He had just the place to go when he needed to get away.

After his shaking subsided to a small shiver he got up and wrapped himself up in his blanket before tiptoeing out of his room, down the halls and to the main control area.

Though it was buzzing and constantly busy during their waking hours, at night it was completely empty, everything was turned off but not powered down to the point that the windows showing off the galaxy were shut down and couldn't be turned on quick enough for a surprise mission.

Lance took a seat on the raised platform just off of the ground and gazed up at the stars and planets that littered the inky space around him, just sitting there and taking in their beauty reminded him of how much he loved space.

He fell in love with the endless void a long time ago, more specifically when his father took him out to the beach near their house in Cuba one night with a huge telescope. Just the two of them, bare feet in the sand with the waves crashing softly against the slightly rocky shore as his father pointed out the different planets and nebulas.

That was one of (if not the most) magical nights in Lance's entire life. That was the night when Lance knew that he wanted to be there, he wanted to be in space and see even closer the planets and the stars. He wanted so badly to feel that magic all over again. And he did, the first few times he flew in Blue. He wanted to keep flying with the stars. But not like this, not when it seemed like it would be forever, and a forever so far away from home. Far away from his brother Marco, and his brother Luis, and his sister Veronica, and his sister Sophia. But most of all so far away from his mother's hugs, his abuela's cooking, his father taking the family down to the ocean days in a row. He missed his baby cousins and his aunt and just Cuba.

He missed Earth.

He missed home.

Lance hugged his knees into his chest, curling into a small ball as he laid his head onto his knees and draped his blanket over his head. He held the blanket close to him, feeling the chills up and down his spine from the lack of a shirt (he slept in only blue pajama pants) and kept quiet yet again as the silent tears ran down his face, dripping off his chin.

Memories of holidays spent with all of his extended family, Friday movie nights, birthday punches and many other family traditions played in his head on repeat, his mind focusing on each happy smile painted upon the faces of his relatives. He could see some of their faces fading, feel their thread connecting to him loosen deep in his soul. He let out an involuntary sob just at the thought of them forgetting him, it was one of his greatest fears. It was a part of his nightmare.

His nightmare.

He clamped his hand over his mouth yet again, stifling another sob that was threatening to spill out. His shoulders shook harder as his tears streamed down more violent than before, this was supposed to make him feel better like it usually did, but this time it only made him feel more homesick. What Lance needed right then was a long, warm hug and reassuring words. But he couldn't have that, he wasn't with his mother who could provide him with the best hugs and he didn't want to be a baby and bother his teammates. He was already a seventh wheel to them, expendable, replaceable, he wasn't needed. They only kept him on the team out of pity and as a human shield, he didn't want to give them another reason to know that he wasn't up to the task of being a paladin of Voltron.