Torn between Love and Hate

Thirteen

The first week of their married life went by quick. Their breakfast together was a joke because they never really get to eat together because he always leaves early and by the time she comes down he's already gone. Only a few times they have eaten breakfast together but in silence.

True to his words Jiyong would mostly come home really late at night and she would only see him during breakfast. She was left all alone at the big mansion for their staff are sent home by six in the evening, except for Mr. and Mrs. Kim. They stay with them in the house staff room at the side of the house. It's a good thing that she was able to busy herself with her work. Comes weekend, she went to visit her mom and she spent a whole day with her. She had to make up excuses as to why her husband was not with her thankful that her mom did not push it. Sunday she spent it with her best friend Bom.

"Dara-ah! You witch! Why did you not tell me that you are now married and with the Kwon Jiyong himself? Did you know that he was the most sought bachelor here in Korea? But of course not anymore because you caught him."

Dara could only laugh at her friend. She's still bubbly as always.

"Yeah. I got him alright." She gave her best friend a lip tight smile. But her best friend know her so well that she won't be able to hide anything from her.

As expected Bom was studying her. "Okay missy. Spit it out. I know that you are not telling me the whole story here."

Dara then told her friend the whole story from their first meeting in America when she was sixteen up to their last conversation and their agreement.

"What a jerk! So you're telling me that he only married you because of his long time girlfriend? But what about you? Why did you marry him then? You must feel something for him and that's why you agreed."

Dara thought about it for a while. Come to think of it. Why did she really agreed to marry him? Yes, it's because of her mom. But her mom did gave her enough time and options. Because in the end it would still be her decision that counts.

"I honestly don't know Bom."

"Girl. Do you know how many men were or are still crazy about you? Who had offered you everything and anything? I know because I was there remember? You were the most sought girl in high school and in college. But because you were so focused on your study that you really did not give any of them a chance. Yes, you have dated quite a lot of them and they were all serious about you then and now. But none of them that you have given a chance. So...why Kwon Jiyong? A man that you know nothing of? Please don't tell me that it's because of your mom and her friendship with your mother in law. I know for a fact that she will be happy with whatever decision you're going to make in your life. So...what really gives? Did you ever liked him before?

"W-we...ll...I may have had a tiny crush on him when I first met him but that was a long time ago and he was also a jerk back then."

"How about when you met him here again? Did you still felt the same way when you met him?"

Creasing her brows. "I-I just thought that if he was cute then, he's a drop dead gorgeous n..ow? I don't know. I know it's confusing but even I cannot even understand it myself how am I going to explain it to you?"

Bom stared at her best friend for a long time that is making Dara uncomfortable.

"Will you stop staring at me? It's totally unnerving."

"Then there's one thing to find out and i know that you will completely go ballistic about this. But really think about it. You did mentioned that Donghae is now here in Korea right? That he was so mad at you when you were just talking to him?"

Dara feeling iffy about what her friend is thinking and about to say. Knowing her...

"How about this...let's test the famous Kwon Jiyong shall we? Let him find out that you're not affected to whatever he's doing with his girlfriend. Go out with any guy who would asked you. I'm not saying that you will randomly just choose any guy. Go out with the guy who is in the same circle, you know what I mean? Since you're wedding was not announced in public anyways so you have nothing to worry about."

"But Bom...you know that I'm not that kind of woman who sleeps around..."

"I know. I don't even know why you're still holding on to that "v" of yours. Can't believed that you have dated so many famous hunk in your life and not once you have given it up. I don't know how you have done it seriously."

"Well because I don't feel it with them, you know. Plus...I...have this thing about being married first before..."

Bom's eyes widened as if it's going to popped out of it's socket.

"You do realize that you are now indeed married...and to a Mr. Kwon Jiyong I may say again."

Dara all of a sudden felt like an ice bucket was poured on her and she froze completely. Then a sudden fireball lit up from within her which is normally will cause a real bad disaster.

"Does that mean that you are ready to give it up when..."

"Wait! Stop right there."

Bom immediately shut her mouth because she knows Dara when her tone of voice change like really low and firm. It means she is definitely serious about something and is trying to calm herself down because if she doesn't you will see the tigress coming out from her. She doesn't want to see that ever again.

Taking a deep breath Dara continued after calming herself.

"If...I mean that is a big if...Jiyong and  I ever...get to that point of no return and...it was in the heat of the moment. Maybe. Just maybe if I do remember being married to him."

"But what you said earlier you have got to feel it, which you have never with anyone of them. Really never?"

"Really. Never." She then shook her head. "Well...maybe once with Donghae. But I wasn't really sure at that time". She's been looking for a specific sparks between her and the man. So far...she had only felt it with one man who so happened to be her husband now.

"Then what about with him?" She doesn't need to mention his name.

Dara looked at her friend contemplating if she should tell her or not.

"Wait! I know that look. OMG!"

Bom squealed trying to cover her mouth.

Dara could only give her lip tight smile with a sad eyes.

"Oh santokki-ah!"

Bom suddenly felt what her best friend is going through right now.

"But you know what? It doesn't matter. You don't have to sleep with them at all just go out on a date just like before. You cannot just let yourself be stuck in your lonely house while he's sleeping with another girl."

"You know what that's true. He did say to mind our own business and not to expect anything from each other. Okay. I will do it."

Bom squealed and hug her friend.

"Okay. So here is what we are going to do to test your unfaithful husband..."

Dara went back home with hope and doubts at the same time. But she will still do it so that she can't say that she didn't and end up regretting it later.

She then decided to take a swim and so she changed into her two piece bikini. This have became her routine every night. She put in a sarong wrap around her waist and grabbed a towel. It's already eight thirty at night but it's still so hot. She placed her towel on the folding lounge, took of her sarong and dived in the pool. She always loves to swim. She was a champion swimmer three years in a row when she was in high school and got a scholarship to UCLA. She was even offered to joined the Olympic team which she accepted. She trained really hard for it but she tore her rotator cuff, had a surgery but she was told that she cannot compete any longer. Because the injury may re-occur. She sadly quit the training but in a way she's happy because she was able to experience it.