Your Past is My Future ✓

➻ Thirty-eight

The car engine rumbled to life and Jin expertly drove out of the hotel parking lot with one hand. The other lay on his lap, fingers tapping in agitation- the only sign of his inner emotions.

I bit my lip, wanting to say something.

Anything.

But words didn't come.

"Abby."

I started a little at Jin's voice and I turned to him expectantly. "Yes?" I replied quietly.

Jin's eyes didn't leave the street he was driving before him, but his hand reached over to mine in my lap and took one, lacing our fingers together.

My breath caught a little at his sudden touch.

"We barely know each other. We never dated at all," Jin said slowly, "but I just want to tell you that if we had more time, I could safely say I love you."

I felt a lump in my throat, but no matter how much I swallowed it didn't go away.

"You're so popular and talented and... handsome," I choked out. "How could you say such a thing to a girl like me?"

Jin finally glanced over at me, some of his silver hair falling in his face a little. "How could I not?" was all he responded.

And then we drove the rest of the way in silence, hands intertwined.

We finally parked quietly in the back of the hospital where the door to the basement was. Yet neither of us got out.

"Good luck with your band," I said finally. "You all have so many fans out there cheering you on, and now you'll have one fan in 1860 cheering you on. You all are such a team and family and have so much potential."

Jin nodded. "Good luck with your family and company. I know you can do it," he turned his head to me. "You're strong; don't underestimate the strength of the heart."

I smiled weakly. Tears were burning in the back of my eyes, but I refused to let them loose quite yet. I just squeezed Jin's hands.

Jin then leaned in real close until our noses were practically brushing. It was dark out, so I could only just make out his features. When he was so close I could smell the fresh scent of soap on him.

"May I?" He asked softly.

My answer was to close the millimeters between us and press my mouth on his for a few blissful seconds.

And then it was over and we were getting out of the car without speaking.

We entered the rusty door where I'd been previously shoved through viciously when I was still in a daze from my dizzy spell. The moment we stepped in, something deep within me began to tug.

It was as if something was pulling me towards it.

"I feel it," I breathed, my soft voice echoing in the abandoned hallway of the hotel. "Jin, I can feel it calling me."

"Should've brought a pan," Jin muttered as he took my hands again.

We navigated through the dark hallway with only the small light (flashlight is what Jin called it) from his phone.

We stopped in front of the door that I'd been in previously and the tugging sensation got even more frantic and stronger. It almost took my breath away.

Jin opened the door, maneuvering me so I was slightly behind him when he entered in case trouble arose. "Yo, Evan, you in here?"

"Here to 'hasta la bye bye my ass'?" was the reply.

"Hey watch your language, kid," Jin shot back before turning towards me and gesturing for me to come in.

The lights in the room abruptly flickered on, causing Jin and I to blink rapidly until our eyes adjusted.

When I was no longer blinded, I spied Evan standing in front of the black drape covering the closet. He was in the same dirty same orange uniform and he fidgeted a lot. That was so... normal attitude as his fingers twisted the ends of his uniform shirt nervously.

"We need to hurry," he announced. "The police might already be on my trail. They're probably bringing their dogs to track me."

Panic suddenly set in at the prospect of me going back to 1860. At the prospect of me leaving 2018. An urge to run back with Jin, running back to Bangtan seized me and it took all my willpower not to do exactly what I was thinking.

I just turned slowly to Jin. "Take care, okay?" I whispered.

Jin nodded, his face back to its carefully blank mask. But was that a glimmer in the back of his eyes?

Evan took my hand.

I quickly jerked it away and lashed out my feet connecting it with Evan's kneecap.

Evan fell down. "Land's sakes, Abigail, I am not trying to be improper! It's the only way we're going to get back to 1860 together!"

I caught Jin's eyes and now I saw he was trying to suppress a smile.

I turned back to Evan and narrowed my eyes as he struggled to stand, clutching his knee and wincing painfully. "Very well, we shall hold hands. But if you dare do anything else, I swear I will hit you in a more worse place than the knee."

"1860 is not going to be happy with you when you get back," Evan mumbled before warily holding out his hand.

I turned back one last time to Jin. "Bye Seokjin."

Jin lifted his head a little. "Bangtan will remember you. Whenever you think of us, be happy and know we're thinking of you."

I inhaled deeply. "I will."

I felt like I should say something else, something more noble and motivational. But instead, I turned around and then entered the black drape of the closet with a single tear streaking down my cheek and a weak smile on my mouth.