The Urie's Daughter (Adopted By Brendon Urie)

We Don't Have To Dance

"You're never gonna get it. I'm a hazard to myself. I'll break it to you easy. This is hell, this is hell. You're looking and whispering. You think I'm someone else. This is hell, yes. Literal hell. We don't have to talk. We don't have to dance. We don't have to smile. We don't have to make friends. It's so nice to meet you. Let's never meet again. We don't have to talk. We don't have to dance. We don't have to dance." We Don't Have To Dance, Andy Black

Ryleigh
I desperately ached to clean up my mess and wash dishes just for something to do but Meagan showed up along with Jenna and they took the job from me as Bronx and Saint played games on their tablets. I found something calming in the cleaning and the purpose it gave me. Everyone began arriving and soon our house was completely full of people. My family. I loved the feeling of having people care and love me. I can't go back. I can't get out of this dark place that's become me. I can't get away from the thoughts in my head. They're too loud and too much.

I zoned out, trapped in thoughts of what would happen if my biological mother wasn't put in jail and received custody again. I started to shiver. This was hell. I was trapped in fear and thoughts of my own mother. Tyler gently grabbed my hand and led me down the hall and outside to the back porch. He helped me sit on the step. "Ry, you gotta breathe with me, okay?"he said and demonstrated. I followed what he said and calmed down as tears found me yet again. I was surprised there were any left.

"You okay?"he asked as he put an arm around my shoulders to pull me into a side hug and rub my arm. I nodded and bit my lip. He saw through it and I started to cry. I'm not quite sure why, I was just crying. I clung tightly to Tyler's black sweatshirt as he hugged me tightly and rubbed circles on my back. Ugly sobs spilled over, much to my dismay. I couldn't quit.

He held me gently as we sat with the perfectly warm sun on us. Just the right temperature, not too cold or too hot. I felt weak as I sobbed out everything from the last two weeks. I collapsed against Tyler, my head in his lap, as I calmed down and the last few stray tears slid down my tearstained face. He stroked my hair. "I'm sorry, Ty,"I whispered. My voice was raspy and cutting in and out.

"You have nothing to be sorry for. It's okay, Ryleigh. Life has been hard lately. It keeps knocking you down and won't let you back up. It's okay to let it go and lean on us. Keeping it in isn't healthy,"he said quietly as he looked at a squirrel climbing the tree across the yard from us and rubbed my shoulder. I wrapped my arms around his midsection and hugged him. We stayed there in silence for a long time. I was afraid to look at my blotchy tearstained face in the mirror.

Awhile later, once I calmed down, we went inside. Frank is on the couch with Mikey and Gerard next to him. His head was in his hands. He was crying. I heard an ugly sob escape. I wasn't meant to overhear but I did. Tyler wasn't sure what to do but he didn't mean for me to see this.

"It's all my fault I could've prevented all of this. It should've been me. If I hadn't come, maybe she wouldn't have tried dying before we knew she was coming home. I was so worried that I was thinking about death, too,"Frank cried out. That was the statement that broke my heart. I was just frozen, numb. I wasn t worth it. "No, no, no," I cried in my thoughts. I couldn't break free from my frozen reverie. Deep inside, I knew Tyler hadn't meant for me to see it. Who could blame Frank? He had been holding a lot in from that night, too. They had all been through a lot for sure but between her and Frank, she knew they had the worse.

He found her almost dead. She wanted to pretend things were fine and normal but they weren't. She kept waiting for the next thing to happen. She saw Tyler visibly shudder and knew he was not only thinking of that night but of how it must've been finding me on the floor, cold and covered in blood. It was too late, I saw and heard everything. He saw the horrified guilt filled look on my face and knew I had heard and seen everything.

"Ryleigh, wait!"Tyler yelled after me but I was already down the hall and almost out the door. The others looked up as Tyler shouted and caught a glimpse of her running. They called for Brendon and were going to look for her if she didn't come back within an hour since they figured she didn't go far and just needed to cool off.

I didn't know where I was going I just needed to get out so I sprinted away and turned a few times. I didn't know if they were following me or not so I figured I could lose them and hopefully not get lost. If they followed me, though, would that be so horrible? I know they didn't mean any harm. I didn't know where I was when I stopped running. In my pocket, I found a couple five dollar bills balled up and my phone that was at 70 percent battery life. I found a park and walked over to the benches. I plopped down on one and just watched as people walked around and kids played on a playground.

My phone kept buzzing but I ignored it. I knew what they were doing. They were worried and looking for me. I'm not going back yet. For good measure, I turned the location services off on my phone. I stayed on that bench for awhile until I realized I was hungry. My stomach grumbled loudly. It was after 4 in the afternoon now. I've been gone awhile and I haven't had lunch. I stood up and decided I should go find food.

I started walking and tugged my hoodie sleeves over my hands. I found a small food cart thing and with the money I had bought a hot dog, some fries, and a water. It took all I had left. I sat on the curb to eat the fries quick and tossed the trash before standing and starting on the hot dog. The water was in my hoodie pocket. "Am I on the missing persons list? I don't think I can find my way home and what if they don't find me?" I wondered.