Seducing the professor

Chapter 9: Poles apart

Did I even have a right to ask him that? Or was our relationship too physical for anything else?

"You don't have to worry about it."

"Maybe you're right. Divya is your fiánce...You don't need to give me any explanation."

"Are you feeling guilty about anything?"

"Are you feeling guilty?"

"I don't care about myself, Ritasha. Since when do you care about all this possessive and emotional stuff?"

"Because it's not fair! How is it that I belong to you but you're engaged to someone...?" I stand up in frustration venting to him.

"I don't love her."

"What? Why!?"

"Divyanka and I are a trophy couple. The only reason why we're engaged is because our parents forcefully blackmailed us with some legal will crap."

"Why did she want you to kiss her then?"

"Trophy couple? We have to act like that in public."

"I'm not public, I'm one person."

"Ritasha, Ritasha, Ritasha...Are you jealous?"

"Maybe..."

"I promise you that Divyanka doesn't love me. Actually, she has a boyfriend. She was passing by to find out about the legal stuff, that's all."

"Mahir, I don't know whether I should believe you or ask you more about this...I'm so confused."

"I'll tell you everything when the time is right. But all I can say now is that there is nothing between us."

"Like nothing at all?"

"I can't even think of her as anything but a friend to me and that's mutual."

I sat back down and thought about some things. "Is what we doing wrong?" I ask him out of eager curiosity.

"I knew it! You feeling guilty about this right? Why now, Ritasha? You didn't give a fuck about cheating on anyone but now suddenly it's all crowding your head."

"Because something distant feel right-"

"Oh I'll tell you what's not right. You women think y'all know everything. But in fact y'all don't know what the hell y'all actually want."

Why the hell was I envying Divyanka? Even more why do I care so much about Mahir's life? Why am I being so emotional towards him? This isn't like me. He was right in a way but why am I banned from having feelings like a normal human?

"I have to go."

"Why?"

I don't answer him, picking up my things and leaving. As I turn the knob to head out I tell him "I thought I meant something to you Mahir...." I slam the door.

I return to the dorm feeling like an idiot. I was being an emotional casket, something I swore I'll never be. I always felt strong and confident but now I felt powerless, motionless and numb. Luckily Stella was in the bathroom so I dwelled in my own thoughts for a while. When she came out I pretended to be busy with the book.

"You're back very soon."

"Hmmm..."

"Should I ask?"

"Stella, am I different?"

"Like duh! Firstly, you never ever call me Stella. Secondly, you're a bit in your own world these days and unfortunately the bubble has to burst at some point."

"Everything feels like a big mistake..."

"Do you think you're in love with him? Like for real?"

"Stel, I don't know....but I do feel something I've never felt with anyone else."

My feelings were all over the place and I had to control it or else things would not turn out good for me. Today was like purely bad luck!! Stella goes back in the bathroom and I start flipping through a magazine not really paying attention to anything in it.

After a while my phone lights up with Mahir's name flashing. I was in no mood to talk to him. I didn't want to talk to him again because there was no future for us. Eventually he's going to marry Divyanka...if I'm not mistaken it's for money. The thing I hated most but relied on it because my parents drilled it into my head.

He keeps calling and I ignore it. Suddenly I hear a knock on the door and I open it to see Mahir in the doorway and he pushes past me, closing the door so that no one can see him.

"What are you doing here?"

"Why aren't you answering your phone?"

"Mahir, you shouldn't be here...just like how I shouldn't have been in your house earlier...or everyday!!"

"Why-"

"Have you seen my pink bra anywhere, Rit-" Stella asks as she comes out of the bathroom and stops when she see Mahir and I. "Sorry...I'll go outside..." She slips away swiftly.

I turn my attention back to Mahir. "Mahir, I'm very unsure of my feelings right now.-"

"Do you love me?" He asked and I was lost for words.

I turn away from him and felt a sharp pain in my chest like I've been stabbed. This wasn't good. "What difference will it make even if I did? We have a physical relationship...why make it complicated."

"Look at me, Ritasha." His voice was sweet yet commanding and I turn to look at him in one go. "I know you're hurt by what happened today and you have every right to question me because you mean everything to me. Don't ever doubt that."

"I don't...I'm sorry about that..." I turn away again starting to feel tears burning up my eyes. I hear him nearing me and he places his hands over my waist pulling me towards him.

"Do you love me, Ritasha??" He asks again.

"Yes..." What the fuck was I saying? How'd I ever become so weak... "...and it's okay if you don't-"

"I'd be the biggest ass if I don't love a beautiful, intelligent and passionate woman back. When I say she's mine, she's mine in every way..." I turn around to face him seeing truth in his eyes while his touch did wonders to comfort me.

"Mahir..."

"I love you, Ritasha. I know this isn't perfect timing to confess this but you needed to know. I can't see you in pain and most all, I don't want you to be confused or dismiss your true feelings towards me."

He made me smile and I immediately rose to kiss him. I felt so complete and secure for some reason. He kissed me back, tonguing me and walking me backwards to the bed. We both collapsed on the bed immersing our new feelings for each other in a fiery make-out session.