Imagine If

22

Ocean's burial is today. I have say good bye. Even if I still can't let go.

Nalaman na rin ni Eleven at Alexane ang nangyare and they were also devastated hearing that bad news.

What if Ocean is still alive right now? Ano kayang ginagawa niya?

Imagine if she's still alive right now and we would read books together and eat together.

Imagine if nandito siya ngayon sa tabi ko, magkukulitan lang kami at magkwekwentuhan buong araw. Tapos bibili kami ng fishball sa harap ng school kasama si Brail, tapos babatukan niya ako kapag may nasabi akong stupid.

Ngayon ko lang narealize, na lahat ng "Imagine if" ko nangyare na.

Nakakain na ako ng pancake at hot choco as my breakfast, tapos nagkaroon na ng girlfriend si kuya. Then Brail's cousin really is the girl Eleven is talking about before.

Sabi nga nila we're all broken, just in different ways.

I've always imagine my life being perfect. I have imagined million ways on how to make my life better. I have imagined things that would happen if I change a decision.

I'll always say "Imagine if"

Imagine if that happens, if this happens and if those happen.

Akala ko hanggang imagination lang ang kaya ko. Akala ko hanggang pangarap lang ang kaya ko.

Pero hindi. I didn't know that behind all the pain and all the tears, may kapalit pala talaga.

Maayos na ang lahat. Masaya na. Pero sa hindi inaasahang pagkakataon. Namatay siya.

Namatay si Ocean.

Okay na eh, kontento na ako. Masaya na kaming lahat, Eleven is finally by Alexane's side, Ocean, Brail and I were always bonding and we're already happy kahit minsan may mga bagay na nagdodown sa amin.

Ang saya na sana eh. Sobrang dami kong tanong sa mundo.

Na bakit ganito ang nangyare? Bakit si Ocean pa? Why do I have to suffer alone like this? Why do I have lose a friend like her?

Kung dati pag nagiimagine ako, natutuwa ako. Pero ngayon, everytime I imagine Ocean smiling and talking to us, napapaiyak nalang ako.

Kase kahit anong imagine ko pa, hindi na mangyayare yun. Ang sakit isipin kahit kelan di ko na makikita si Ocean na nakangiti at nakikipag tawanan sa amin.

Hindi ko na makikita si Ocean na tinatarayan si Alexane, hindi ko na siya makikita na inaasar si Eleven, hindi ko na siya makikita muli.

There is this ineffable pain that makes my whole body shiver. Parang konting konti nalang magkakabuhol buhol na mga ugat ko sa katawan.

I still remember that day, the last day we talked.

"You know Elyc likes you, but why are you pretending like you don't know? Bakit kahit anong effort ang gawin niya sayo, mas gusto mo parin si Eleven?" Ocean asked

"I'm afraid that I'll ruin him. I want to keep Brail away from all of the chaos na nangyayare sa buhay ko. I don't want to ruin his life just because of me" I answered

"He'll be into that. Please lang Lystra, give him a chance. Kasi kahit anong gawin ko, ikaw parin ang gugustuhin niya. Ikaw pa din ang babalikan niya. I tried telling him to like other girls, he also tried but at the end of the day, ikaw padin ang iisipin niya gabi gabi" sabi ni Ocean

"To be honest, super naappreciate ko siya because he's always there for me. There is that part me that likes him as a man, but there is that part of me that's afraid on whats to come" I replied