Coming Up For Air

2.8

"Now I'm hoping just a little bit stronger
Hold me up just a little bit longer
I'll be fine, I swear
I'm just gone beyond repair."
-Mayday Parade, 'Jersey'

☂Ashton☂

Luke was all blurry tears, all saltwater and drowning and trying to catch his breath, and Ashton just rubbed his back and kissed his temple and wished he could brutally murder anybody who had ever made Luke unhappy. He wished there was something else he could do, some way to wind the clock back and slay all the demons before they came into Luke's life to wreak havoc.

"Ash? Ash, I need to go talk to Louis for a second. I'll be back soon so please don't leave." Luke mumbled into Ashton's shoulder, unwinding himself from around Ashton's body, to which he had been clinging.

"I won't leave, Luke." Ashton promised again, wishing Luke would believe him but knowing that it would take time.

Luke nodded fervently and pulled Louis out into the hallway, shutting the door behind him. Quiet reined king on the room for a super-sized moment.

"Thank you." Calum said in a bruised voice, and Ashton noticed for the first time that he had three tear tracks down his face, one on the left and two on the right. "I couldn't--do it by myself."

"Are you okay?" Ashton asked instead of answering.

"Yeah..."Calum said, but he trailed off and shook his head. "Not really. No. She was like my mom too, after my parents kicked me out. It just...it kind of hurts to know that not one, but two sets of parents didn't care. I mean, I don't know why she left, but..."

"It looked bad. By the way Luke was...yeah." Ashton said, playing with the edge of his coat. "I'm sure they care, Calum. Your parents."

Calum laughed bitterly and opened his mouth, but before he could say anything, the door opened slowly and Luke entered, looking pale and sick and it just spilt Ashton in half.

He stood a bit away from them, his arms wrapped around himself, and Louis came in and whispered something in his ear. Luke nodded and Louis waved to Ashton and Calum before letting himself out of the flat.

Silent vines cut off their oxygen for a moment...
and another
and another
and anoth--

"So my mom came back." Luke said, his voice crackling with static sadness.

"Yeah." Ashton and Calum mumbled together, studying Luke for any possible signs that he might implode.

"Yeah." Luke said, pausing and breathing and swallowing and shifting. "Yeah. She left. She was living with her cousin."

Everybody was dreadfully still.

"Why?" Calum was tightrope-walking with what Luke was willing to remember.

"She had an affair." Luke said shortly, wrapping his arms more tightly around himself like he was physically trying not to fall apart. "And she got pregnant. And then she had the kid. And it died. And then she came and found me because she for some reason thinks I would want her in my life again after all the shit she put us through."

Well, Ashton thought through thick sadness and numbing shock, I can't think of anything in the universe worse than that.

Luke was crying again and Calum had him in his arms, and Calum was choking on feeling too, and they were both wrapped in this cloud of heartbrokeness, and Ashton felt a distinct sense of intrusion. He shifted uncomfortably, wanting both to hold Luke and to leave so the best friends could save each other.