Coming Up For Air

5.3

"Nothing lasts forever, but this is gonna take me down
He's so tall and handsome as hell
He's so bad but he does it so well
I can see the end as it begins
My one condition is
Say you'll remember me."
-Taylor Swift, 'Wildest Dreams'

☂Ashton☂

Ashton couldn't be bothered to find his breath, even though technically he knew he had to keep breathing if he wanted to be able to see his mum again.

"Okay..." Luke said softly, standing up from the bed and untangling himself from the sheets he and Ashton had shared minutes before. Ashton was staring at anything except for Luke's blue eyes filled with brokenness and bravery because he was already falling to bits.

Luke handed him the laptop.

Ashton bought a flight.

They didn't speak.

Luke didn't touch Ashton.

Ashton didn't touch Luke.

Ashton cried and cried and cried and when he looked up front the backlit screen after his credit card was approved, he saw Luke was crying too.

But he couldn't be bothered to think of what to do, so he just reached up and pressed one of his palms to Luke's cheek and then Luke kissed him and it tasted like tears.

"When?" Luke asked after several hundred years of muted sobs.

"Tomorrow. Nine in the morning." Ashton told him horsely.

Luke looked shattered.

"So...soon..." He struggled. Ashton shrugged in a deadly kind of way.

"She's going to die, Luke." He said after a moment, trying to leach as much emotion out of the words as he could because maybe that would make them meaningless. "She has cancer and she's got three weeks to live and my family kept it a secret this long because they didn't want me to get distracted from school but now it all makes sense, I guess. Harry and Lauren were acting weird and my grandma never put my mum on the phone and I should have known something was going on and oh, God, that's why my grandma couldn't pay my tuition--the money was going to the bills because my mom wasn't working--oh, God..."

Ashton was sobbing violently by the end of his speech, and he doubled over to hold his chest together. A few moments later he felt Luke's arms wrap around him and pull him onto his lap, and then he let his world collapse.

x

It was three-thirty in the morning and they were at Ashton's dorm room, packing what he would need and leaving everything he didn't care about. He didn't have much--mostly clothes and books--so the task went fast. Neither of them was talking much, except for Luke voicing the occasional "Bring this?" and Ashton replying with "Yes" or "No".

At about four, Ashton got out his phone and texted Michael to let him know his mother wouldn't have to worry about Ashton's continued attendance at London Uni. Oddly enough, Michael responded almost immediately to let him know he would be happy to drive him to the airport. Then Calum texted Luke and Luke told him the situation, and suddenly all three of them were going to see Ashton off the next morning.

Ashton wasn't quite sure how to feel, so he didn't feel much of anything at all.

"Ash?" Luke asked, exhaustion apparent in his voice. "Ash, we're done and you should probably get a couple hours of sleep before you..."

He didn't finish, but Ashton nodded anyway, and they fell into bed and into each other and held on tighttighttight 'till the morning sun fractured their illusion of forever apart.