Coming Up For Air

3.8

"But we all bleed the same way as you do

And we all have the same things to go through."

-Good Charlotte, 'Hold On'

⚑ Luke ⚐

Calum was waiting outside the apartment in front of the bakery when Luke arrived. It was dark and late, and everything was kind of damp and drenched and dripping and dreary and Calum had tear tracks on his face like he was trying to fit in with the landscape.

"Luke, I'm--," he started but Luke just shook his head.

"Don't apologize. Just tell me why. And then we can get this over with." Luke said, trying to sound strong but it came out all wrong, all wavery and watery and weak.

"Why?" Calum's voice was torn paper.

"Why would you lie to me? For so long?" Luke asked hollowly. Something angry red was spawning at the back in his throat as he continued. "Why would you do that? You cried with me, Calum. You said you understood how I felt. You said you were on my side. You said you were there for me. This fucking hurts, Calum. It fucking hurts that all that was a lie because I thought that you were my best friend. I thought that you were my real family, but maybe that was a lie, too. I don't even know anymore. I...just, why?"

Calum was still crying, crying harder, and it took him a couple minutes to find his breath and his words.

"I just...I wanted...a mum." He said chokingly.

Luke swallowed around the cannonball in his esophagus. "Why?"

"Because I...I miss having a family." Calum stuttered. He reached his hands out for Luke like he was falling off the edge of something, but Luke flinched away.

"So do I." He said harshly and brushed past Calum up the steps of the flat.

The door wasn't all the way closed, so Luke pushed it open and stepped inside his house. His room was to his right, the bathroom was to his left, and standing directly in front of him was the woman he had spent the last year desperately hoping to see again and the last three weeks desperately hoping to never see again.

"Don't--," Liz started as Luke jerked backward with surprise and anger. "--run away from me. Please."

Luke didn't say anything as he slowly swallowed and closed the door behind him. He kind of slumped back against it, and kind of closed his eyes for a second, and kind of wanted to be anywhere else in the world.

"Calum said you needed to talk to me." He said finally, his voice all flavorlessness and white chalk. His eyes were still drooped so all he could focus on were her shoes. They were grey and bright green trainers. Nike. Worn, kind of dingy looking, like she'd had them for a long time. Luke didn't recognize them.

That long.

"I know that what I did was unforgivable. Luke, I do. But...you know that there were...I mean, I'm not saying it was your fault at all." Liz was stuttering. All of a sudden Luke's eyes snapped open.

"What." He didn't say in an asking way, every bad feeling in the world coursing through his veins all at once.

"I...you...I know, Luke. I know." Liz said and Luke had a heart attack. "And so did he. And you...her...I wouldn't tell, but Chauncey...he didn't have the same...reservations as I did. Neither of you deserved that, I don't think. Especially you. She...well, I have my own opinion on that but--you. I was...you just have to know that part of what I did was to protect you, Luke."