Coming Up For Air

4.8

"I can see you there with the city lights,

Fourteenth floor, pale blue eyes.

I can breathe you in.

Two shadows standing by the bedroom door,

No, I could not want you more than I did right then,

As our heads leaned in."

-Parachute, 'Kiss Me Slowly'

☂Ashton☂

Ashton woke up with Luke already gazing down at him, looking sleepy and mussed and messy and perfect.

"Good morning." Ashton smiled lazily, stretching a little and turning on his side to face Luke fully. Luke stared at him for another second before he gently traced his index finger down the slope of Ashton's nose, studying it with a rather wonderful expression of delight splayed across his soft morning-colored face.

"I really like your nose." He said, warm and husky and Christ, Ashton was so heartbreakingly immersed in everything about Luke it felt like his ribs might crack under the weight of it.

"Oh?" Ashton choked, smiling and smiling and drowning in the best way, because Luke did that kind of thing to him.

"Mhm." Luke hummed, kissing Ashton's neck once and then the bridge of his nose once, and then his cheekbone once and then his nose again. Ashton nuzzled his face into Luke's chest, letting his eyelashes brush across the bared skin that covered his heartbeat.

"Do you have one of those lists?" Luke asked after a minuscule eternity of them just inhaling and exhaling and existing together.

"You're gonna have to be a little more specific than that." Ashton blinked up at Luke's blueness while he wrote nonsense words on his lower back with his fingertips. Luke squirmed a bit, poking Ashton's side and biting his lip to cage a smile.

"That tickles!" He said, his voice squeaking a little. "I mean, one of those lists that girls always have. Like, go skydiving, get kissed in the rain, lose twenty pounds..."

"Oh, a bucket list?" Ashton realized. "Losing twenty pounds is probably the lamest thing anybody could put on a bucket list, like, ever."

"Well, skydiving is fucking terrifying, so that's not happening either." Luke said, shivering dramatically. "Heights."

"You're six four. How have you survived this long and been afraid of heights? Do you just never look down?"

"Yes." Luke nodded gravely. "I haven't looked down since I was fifteen."

"That explains a lot about your underwear choices." Ashton said thoughtfully, and then, when Luke turned red, he giggled and kissed his chest. "I'm just kidding, Lucas. I loooooove your hamburger underwear."

"Stop." Luke whined, covering his face with his hands. "You're a mean boyfriend. You're lying. You don't love my underwear at all."

"They're weird. But you're weird, too." Ashton laughed.

"You're a jerk. Stop making fun of my underwear. And me." Luke pouted.

"Aw, honey. I told you I loved your underwear. They're great. I love all your clothing choices." Ashton promised, sliding his hands down to Luke's hips and hooking his thumbs in the waistband of his sweats, glancing up at him and smirking. "Especially when your clothing choices consist of no clothes."

Luke looked a little dazed and extremely happy.

"I had a real question, I think." He murmured, confused and distracted. And then, "Let's brush our teeth first."

Ashton bit Luke's earlobe as they stumbled to the bathroom together, and slapped his butt playfully while they both let the mint chase away their morning breath, and everything was generally perfect.

(Six weeks, Ashton thought quietly.)

"I remember!" Luke announced, pulling his toothbrush out of his mouth. "Bucket list. Question. You. Do you have a bucket list?"

"Uh..." Ashton thought about it for a moment. "I don't know. There are a variety of things I want to do before I die, I guess."

"Then let's do them." Luke said, and all of a sudden he looked sad. "You're gonna be gone is six weeks, Ash."

"Yeah..." Ashton mumbled.

"Unless there's a miracle." Luke said.

Ashton just nodded.

"And I..." Luke trailed off, looking around the small room twice and then back at Ashton. "I just really want you to remember me."

"Oh, God, Luke--," Ashton crumbled into pieces and he broke apart everywhere inside. "Luke, I'm never going to forget you."

Luke looked at him through his lashes. "Promise?"

"Excluding the possibility that I might get Alzheimer's or something--,"

"You suck at being romantic." Luke groaned, laughing a little through all the upset painted in his eyes. "Just lie to me, love."

(Love, Ashton thought. Oh god.)

"I'm not going to lie to you, Luke. That's a sin." Ashton said, seriously and un-seriously simultaneously.

"So's sodomy, but you didn't seem too concerned about that about four minutes ago." Luke mumbled, smirking. Ashton blanched and barked a laugh.

"Shit, Luke. We haven't done--that." He stuttered out nervously. "I mean, I was just gonna give you a hand jo--,"

"I had a thing to say!" Luke interrupted, covering Ashton's mouth with his hand and blushing brightly. "Stop distracting me with your dirtiness!"

Ashton rolled his eyes.

"I wanna do your bucket list. Like, the stuff on it. Or at least some of the stuff." Luke told him. "That way you'll never, ever, ever forget about me. Even when you leave. And grow up. And get Alzheimer's."

Ashton stopped rolling his eyes and proceeded to melt.

Luke took his hand off his mouth.

I love you.

(Ashton almost said.)

"Kissing in the rain is on my bucket list." He admitted, staring and Luke and knowing that he couldn't forget him even if he tried.

"It's not raining right now." Luke whispered, because whispering felt like the right thing to do.

"Kiss me anyway."

x