Coming Up For Air

the first ends

Ashton's bucket list:

1. Write a message in a bottle.
2. Ride the London tube from one end to the other consecutively.
3. Go skinny dipping.
4. Kiss someone in the rain.
5. Go to Paris.
6. Visit every continent.
7. Eat cheeseburger at a Macca's in America.
8. Ride a horse.
9. Squat 450 pounds.
10. Learn to draw kind of.
11. Get married.

Ashton's message in a bottle:

Dear Whoever,

Hi. My name's Ashton, and I guess if you're reading this, that's cool. I wonder where this ended up. Maybe America. Or Australia. Or China. That would be awesome.

Anyway, I did this thing because it's on my bucket list of things to do, and my boyfriend wanted me to do it so I wouldn't forget about him. I wouldn't anyway. I love him. I don't think he realizes, though. He's kind of scared of people's love sometimes, I think, because his mum left him and he's pretty scarred from that.

I guess I'm leaving him too, now. I really don't want to, though. I think he knows that. I can't tell. He's looking at me right now--I'm at his flat and I'm writing this before we go out to throw the bottle in the Thames. We live in London, by the way, but I'm Australian. I'm going back to Australia soon, and he's staying here.

Luke (my boyfriend) has very blue eyes, and I don't want to leave him. Ever. But my grandma's run out of money to pay my tuition, and I'd need to get someone pregnant or something if I wanted to get a new visa on this short of notice.

This has been a very boring message in a bottle. I should probably have talked about something that actually might matter to you, but whatever. I wanted to talk about Luke, because he's what matters to me and soon I won't even have him.

Bye.

-Ashton.

Anna Marie Irwin's Death Scene:

(April 29th, 2014)

It's a strange thing when they let cancer patients go home. It feels like it means hope, like, "She's improving. Send her home. She doesn't need the hospital." That's what it feel like.

But that's not what it means.

It means, "Sorry, so sorry, there's nothing more we can do, so let's make sure her last moments aren't spent in a round of chemo."

It means no more hope.

It means looking at your mother's frail frame as you lift her out of her wheel chair and into her bed, and almost wishing she would just die so her pain would be over. It means waking up the next morning and hating yourself for wanting that after you find out that this morning, she's not waking up. No more mornings for her.

It means desperately wishing you could believe in heaven.

It means knowing you never can, because what kind of "God" would do this to your sobbing younger brother or your heartbroken younger sister or you.

It means no more hope.

It means no more hope.

Michael and Calum's living situation:

(July 1st, 2014)

"Calum! Calum, hurry the hell up! Michael's outside and Ashton's already in security and we need to leave right now!" Luke chattered excitedly, busting into his best friend's room and dragging him out of thier flat by his arm while Calum adjusted the beanie on his head.

Calum laughed at Luke's eagerness, but he couldn't blame him. It had been over two months since Luke had gotten back from Ashton's mum's funeral, and he'd been complaining about the separation consistently the entire time.

They drove to the airport, and Luke had a cute hug-and-kiss reunion with Ashton, after which he declared that Calum should clear out of the apartment for the next few days because he planned on making sure Ashton knew just how much he had missed him. Ashton had laughed and kissed his cheek. Michael had gagged. Calum had told Luke he was a disgusting disgrace to humanity. Luke had grinned impishly and refused to care.

In the end, Calum had stayed with Michael. The two didn't know each other very well--they pretty much only hung out when they were with Luke and Ashton--but it turned out thy shared many of the same interests. Read as: video games.

After Ashton and Luke's 3 day sexcapade finished, Calum and Luke shared their flat happily for about three more months, but Ashton never really left. He had a summer dorm at London Uni, but summer dorms were even tinier and shittier than the communal on-term halls, and he rarely spent the night at his own place. Eventually, in early September, days before Ashton would have to shift all of his things over to his new dorm room, Calum had pulled Luke aside and told him that he'd already talked to Michael, who he'd ended up spending a lot of nights with to escape Luke and Ashton's rather intrusive relationship, and they were going to become roommates. Luke hugged him, and said he was sorry, for whatever reason. Calum didn't mind. He was happy Luke was happy.

So Calum and Michael moved in together, and Calum got Madeline, the tiniest, cutest dog he'd ever seen. Luke and Ashton moved in together, and they got to spray bleach on the mold in the bathroom and fall in love a little more every single day.

Ashton's Haircut:

(December 5th, 2014)

"Your hair is clogging up the drain." Luke said, frowning. "You clean the bathroom."

"That's not fair! I can't help it!" Ashton groaned. He hated cleaning the bathroom. It took forever and it grossed him out.

"Cut your hair. That would help." Luke pointed out.

"Fine. I will."